Woah, We're Halfway There.

First of all, if you didn't sing the title of this blog in your head, I'm a little disappointed. Go ahead and look up Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. 

Anyways, it's true, I am at the halfway point of my summer in Haiti. Technically, I'm at the halfway point of my time here by myself before Berean's youth team arrives, but I'm not going to ruin a good title. Time has gone by so quick! Some of the days have been slow, but the weeks have been fast. I have been to a total of 48 churches so far, which is just two short of how many I planned on visiting altogether! At this rate, I'm visiting 12 churches a week. I am aiming to make it to another 30-40, although Jephthe believes I can make it to all 121 churches. I hope that he is right! The visits have been going so great. Personally, they are very humbling for me and I have been so appreciative of the opportunity that God has blessed me with to do His work. At each visit, I take pictures of the church and the leader. Then, I have a list of questions that I ask them, with the help of Elisee, a friend of mine who I hired to translate for me. At the end, I ask them for three ways that I can be praying for their church and three ways that I can be praying for them personally. It has been a joy for me to see how encouraged the leader is after the interview because they know that they aren’t forgotten. Almost every leader has asked that I pray for the financial situation of the church, but also for their family as well, because they don’t make enough to support themselves through the ministry. Many of the leaders also do not have their own housing and ask that I pray about that as well. Jephthe’s ministry here in Haiti is such an encouragement to me because I see the impact that these churches are having for the kingdom. The churches have anywhere from 50 to 400 people in attendance each Sunday, with the largest church having 10,000-15,000 people!

This past week, I was extremely humbled and heartbroken at the same time. As I was finishing up an interview with a pastor, I asked him how I could be praying for him. Pastor Metys spoke up and said that we need to see his house because he lives in a hen house. So we got up and went out the back of the church to his "house." My jaw dropped. He literally lived in a 12ft x 6ft shack that had chicken wire covered with cardboard for walls. There were two mattresses, separated by sheets hanging from the tin roof. I couldn't believe it. Oh, did I mention that he has a pregnant wife and six children that also live there with them? I was at a loss for words. I was afraid to start praying because I knew that I would get emotional. But I prayed. I'm thankful that God is omniscient and knows what we need before we say it, or even think it. I'm thankful that he knows the desires of my heart and that he knows how I felt for that family. I'm thankful that even though I didn't know how to pray for them, he still knew what they needed. That was a tough visit, but I am thankful for it because of how God met me in that moment and I knew that even if I didn't have all the words to say in my prayer, he would still know all that was on my heart and mind. What a sweet, sweet thing it is to feel the presence of God in such a moment.

I'm thankful that God is allowing me to experience moments like that. Moments that break my heart for his people. Moments that make me realize how fortunate I am. Moments that make me see what true dependence on God looks like. Moments that allow me to see just how important this work is. God has blessed me to be a blessing to others. In that moment, I was able to show that family that God sees them, he hears our prayers, they aren't forgotten, they aren't abandon. I could encourage them with truth. God is not finished with them yet! Better days are coming! I pray that they know that. That they are encouraged. I pray that God continues to break my heart for what breaks his. I pray that he continues to show me how good he is, how faithful he is.

Today was encouraging because Kristin, the other American here who has been working at the orphanage in La Coste for Jephthe, and I were able to bring all the boys from La Coste to the clinic to be seen by the doctor. He was super sweet with them all and really did a good job. I was reminded of how much God cares for the orphans and the widows today. I got to hold a sweet little boy in my arms for hours as he slept. I picked him up because he had been crying and almost immediately his cry turned to a little whimper and then stopped completely. He just wanted to be seen, to be held, to be cared for. Sometimes, I feel like that's how I can be with God. I just want him to hold me, to reassure me that he is bigger than all of my problems, all of my failures, all of my doubts. I want to be reminded that I'm not alone in this, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, cares for me, who hears me and is in control. Children are such a great reminder of how gentle God can be, how compassionate he can be, and how comforting he can be. Matthew 19:14, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" What a perfect thing to be reminded of in a country full of young children running around. 

This trip has been such a learning experience for me. I cannot say thank you enough to all of you who have been praying for me, who supported me financially, and who have sent me words of encouragement. I am so thankful the time that I am getting to spend here. God has been deepening my relationship with him, growing my relationship with my friends here, and revealing to me so many new things. I am excited for the second half! 

So far, I have felt very healthy and have not had many problems at all. Praise God! You can also thank God with me that I have not had any problems or accidents on the moto! But, if you would, please continue to pray for strength, energy, health, and safety for this second half of the trip. As the number of churches I visit continues to grow, so does the distance to travel to get to them. Pray that God would continue to bless me with stability and control on the moto. Finally, I ask that you would continue to pray for my spiritual growth, that God would continue to show me new things and teach me new lessons through His Word and through my experiences here. I think that it is only appropriate to end with this, I'm livin' on a prayer! 

Comfortable in the Uncomfortable.

          Have you ever been driving somewhere, like home from work or to school, and when you get there you realize that you were just completely zoned out while driving? You don't remember how you got there because you were just on auto-pilot, essentially. You make the drive everyday and it becomes second nature. This can be a scary place to be.
          After more than ten trips to Haiti, I found myself in a similar situation. Haiti had become a trip that I could auto-pilot through. It was a little different, every trip is unique and brings its own challenges, but for the most part, these trips had become like second nature.
          For the first four or five years, each trip was new and exciting, they were novel. But after that, they all began to run together. Over the years, Haiti trips just became something that I did, it was like second nature.
          In my experiences, there are comforts that I have here in America: a bed, a nice house, a car, running water, clothes, air conditioning, etc... and over the years, going to Haiti also became comfortable. While staying at Jephthe's, we have running water, a decent bed, a roof over our heads, and good food. Yes it is hot and dirty, it is hard work and there are challenges, but for Haiti, it was still comfortable.
          This past trip to Haiti a few of us were in the truck with Jephthe on our way to Thomassique, which is where we would be spending our week working. On the way there, Jephthe said something along these lines, "The living situation this time is going to be much different," to which Scott and I looked at each other and said, "what do you mean?" Jephthe responded with a single sentence, "I am so thankful you still come." Scott and I both just glanced at each other and thought, "what have we gotten ourselves into?" However, a quote from our book, Radical by David Platt, convicted me when I read it later that week. It said,

“…somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.” ― David Platt

          This past trip was so good because it took me back outside of my Haiti comfort zone. I had been concerned about my own comforts in this third-world country instead of the lives of the people that we were there to serve, the ones who live there everyday of their lives. I did not want to abandon myself or my comforts. I wanted to go to Haiti and help these people who have nothing, all the while having comforts that I could enjoy. Thankfully, this trip was different. We slept on the roof of a house that did not have running water. We weren't at Jephthe's house with the normal comforts that we have there. This trip woke me up from my auto-pilot mode that I had been in. Another quote from our book put it into perspective as well.

“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”           ― David Platt

          I fell into the trap of the American dream that life is all about being comfortable and I carried this with me to Haiti. I was there to serve, but I still wanted to be comfortable while down there. I am so thankful that we took this trip when we did because it brought me out of the state of thinking that I was in. This summer, although I will be staying at Jephthe's for the majority of the time, I'm sure there will be some nights that I spend in other places that are much less comfortable than the house in Thomassique. I am not there to be comfortable. I am not there to serve myself. I am there to serve the people of Haiti. I am there to glorify God despite the uncomfortable situations I may be in.

          Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that you are encouraged and inspired to pray about what God is doing in your life. If you wish to join me on my journey this summer, you can add me on Facebook, or continue to follow my blog. As always, I ask for your prayers during this time as I prepare, but also this summer while I am there. If you would like to support me financially, you can click here. Thank you again, God bless you.

For Qu.

11-14-2017

His name was Quvonta, Qu for short. I didn’t know him all that well yet, but he was still a teammate. I remember having him in my orientation group at school, showing him around campus, helping schedule his classes, talking with him and his brother about basketball. We practiced together for a few weeks before he went back home to Cleveland for a little while. We chatted in a group message with the rest of the team. He always lifted us up and encouraged us. He wanted to make us better. He was determined to make us better. He was supposed to be back to practice on Monday, but Monday never came for him…

We got the news Sunday morning from Coach in a text that read, “I postponed the game today. There was an incident where Q was shot and killed last night. I don’t know anymore details.” My heart sank. My stomach dropped. How do you take this kind of news? A friend, a teammate, a twin brother, a best friend, a son, dead. Forever gone from this earth. But God, why?! He was only 18! He had so much life left to live! How can you do this? Why would you do this? I don’t understand. Honestly, I probably never will.

As the news spread, I see pictures of Qu on social media. I read stories about the joy he brought to others, the laughs and smiles that were shared with him. I see videos of the silly dance moves that he unashamedly showed off. My heart continues to break. What do you say to your two teammates, one who is his twin brother and the other his best friend? There aren’t words gentle enough to make the tears stop. There aren’t words encouraging enough to lift their spirits. So you say what you can and hope that they know you mean it.

One of the most afflicted men in the Bible, Job, has a lot to teach us about loss. God allowed Satan to take away his family, his livestock, his money and his health. If anyone had a reason to curse God it was him. Upon hearing the news that all of his livestock, his servants, and his children had been killed, the Bible says that Job “got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. The he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.’” What an atypical response to tragedy. I’ll be the first to admit that more often than not, my initial instinct is not to worship God when tragedy strikes. I want to question God, I want to know why, and I want to know the purpose, the plan. But Job reminds me that the Lord is in control. He gives and he takes away, sometimes unexpectedly and sooner than we would wish. While Job was sitting among the ashes in his mourning, God allowed Satan to take Job’s health, but he had to spare his life. Job was covered in sores from head to toe and the Bible tells us that Job’s wife told him to curse God and die but Job refused. He asked her the question, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” What a great question to ask and to gain perspective. God is God in the good and the bad. He is present in our highest times and our lowest times. He is worthy of our worship on the top of the mountain and in the valley below. As for the questioning of God’s plan, we are reminded in Isaiah 55 that God’s ways and thoughts are not like our own. “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” 

In situations like this one, we want to know why, but we have to have faith, even in the darkest, lowest valley that we find ourselves in. Faith that God is in control. Faith that God does not make mistakes. Faith that God is just. Faith that God will never leave us nor forsake us. Right now, we mourn with those who mourn and pray for peace, comfort, and healing in the lives of those who knew Qu.

Rest easy, Qu. This season is for you. We love you and will miss you.