Trust.

Trust. It's a simple thing, right? You either trust someone, or something, or you don't. Seems simple. So what makes it so difficult sometimes?

Here in Haiti, I have to trust a lot! I have to trust people, vehicles, roads, goat paths, bridges, and many other things. Most importantly though, I have to trust God. This is one thing that God has really been teaching me during my time down here, especially this past week. Allow me to walk you through what it has been like.

Wednesday - On Wednesday, Wilguens and I were supposed to go to Hinche on the moto. We had talked the night before and planned to leave at 7:00am Haitian time (meaning more like 7:15 or 7:30). Anyways, 7:00am came and went and around 7:30 Wilguens showed up and told me, "I forgot, I can't go to Hinche. We need to go to Cap." There's no such thing as a quick trip to Cap, either. So we get in the Dodge pickup, which requires trust in and of itself because everyone knows that thing could break down at any moment. (This is the truck that just the week before, the tail end of the drive shaft just fell off as we were turning into the orphanage at La Coste, if that tells you anything). We finally leave and as we are leaving Pignon, we stop at a church and like 15 women all get into the bed of the truck, to which Wilguens says, "I forgot." Alrighty then, on to Cap we go. Thankfully, we made it to Cap without any problems. Once we got there, we dropped the women off at hotel like place (come to find out, they're all getting married and went to try on wedding dresses). Wilguens and I then took a tap-tap into the heart of Cap. Tap-taps require trust. After the tap-tap driver took us as far as he would go into the market, we got out and began to walk. So now, I'm just following this guy that I just met when I came down here through the busy, overcrowded, trash littered streets of Cap-Haitien. After about 20 minutes, we finally get to the bank. Once inside, a security guard took us to the front of the line to exchange money. As the bank teller was handing me my gourds, Wilguens took a $50 gourd bill and rolled it up. Then as we were walking out he handed it to me and told me to give it to the security guard. Nothing like a little bribe for good service. After the bank, I had to buy some supplies for the American team that was here that week. When we had bought what we needed, Wilguens hailed a taxi to take us back to the hotel where the truck was. Another trusting moment, but we made it back. After waiting for a couple hours for all the women to be done, we were finally on our way back to Pignon. Remember how I said that the Dodge could break down at any time? Well, that time was about 45 minutes into the 2ish hour drive. Something went out on the transmission and we were stopped dead in our tracks. We spent an hour or so trying to fix it but to no avail. But wouldn't you know it, God gave me an answer to prayer and another opportunity to trust him. While we were just standing there by the truck, another truck pulled up with a few people inside. Wilguens talked with the man driving and then looked at me and said, "You should probably go, right?" Apparently, this man lived in Pignon and offered to take me the rest of the way. So I put my stuff in the back and hopped in, praying and trusting God that I would make it back to Jephthe's. The man, Val, works for an organization here in Pignon called Haiti Outreach and was very nice. He dropped me off at Jephthe's and I couldn't thank him enough.

Thursday - On Thursday, I went to visit a handful of churches. I have to trust Pastor Metys that he knows where he is going. Again, another man whom I just met when I came here this summer, leading me way out into the country, through winding trails, rivers, mountains, and on this particular day, over bridges. We were on our way back to Pignon and just came down a steep hill when I see this bridge come into site. I just figured we would be going down below it and crossing the river at a low point, but I was wrong. This bridge was probably five feet wide, 150-200 feet long, made with wooden planks and had wire on the sides for rails. It was like something out of an Indiana Jones movie! Needless to say I made Pastor Metys go first. After he made, it was my turn. "Jesus take the wheel, here goes nothing." I slowly eased my moto on to and made my way across. Thankfully, the Lord helped keep me straight and I made it without any problems. Talk about trust, though. Come to find out, Metys had never crossed that before that day and just a couple months ago, someone had fallen off. I'm glad I didn't know either of those things prior to crossing. What an adventure that was. Trusting in the Lord that the bridge would hold and that I wouldn't stray left or right.

Friday - Friday was a relatively chill day, but still, each day here presents the opportunity to trust in the Lord for basic things. For example, it's never for certain that we will have electricity to charge phones, backup batteries, have the fan on at night, etc... Also, although the cooks do very well and the food is always great, there is always that chance that something could not sit well with you and upset your stomach. Each meal is an opportunity to give thanks and to trust God.

Saturday and Sunday - On Saturday morning, Jephthe, a leader from the other group, Kristin, Elisee and I left for Port-au-Prince early in the morning. We knew that Jephthe's car had been having problems and that was one of the reasons why we left earlier, so that we could take his car to the dealership to be worked on. Thankfully, we made it without any problems. Jephthe dropped Elisee, Kristin and I off at the hotel and he and the other leader went to have his car looked at. A couple hours later, he was back. He said that they didn't have time to work on his car, so now he was working on a few things and needed to prepare a message for Sunday morning. Half-jokingly, I told him I would do the message for him. Lesson learned, because he jumped on the idea and now I was to preach tomorrow. Lord, I'm trusting you. I've never prepared a message, let alone preached a message. The rest of the afternoon I spent praying and preparing a message to share the next day. I enjoyed some time in the pool and just relaxing after I had finished preparing. Sunday morning came quick and we got to church around 8:45. Then, after about an hour of worship, it was time for me to preach. Lord, I need you. I'm trusting you, that you will speak through me and they will hear your words, not my own. In my own opinion, I would say that it went fairly well for my first time! I'm thankful that God is able to use my story and the things that he has been teaching me to help encourage others. Stepping outside of my comfort zone, trusting God to provide and sustain, has never felt better. I'm so thankful for the opportunities that he is giving me here in Haiti.

Monday - It was back to work on Monday. I visited seven more churches with Pastor Metys and Elisee. This time, we went all the way to Thomonde, which is about 30 minutes or so past Hinche. I was a little nervous about driving through Hinche because it can be very busy and hectic in the city, especially with all of the roundabouts. I kept praying and trusting God that it would not be busy while we drove through and He answered. We got through the city with no problems and very unusually light traffic. Later on, after visiting six churches, we began our hour and a half long search for the final church. Pastor Metys had never been to this church before and it was obvious. We were driving through the mountains, along goat paths, over hills and through valleys, stopping to ask everyone we saw if they could point us in the right direction. I was trusting Pastor Metys and he was trusting these strangers to be honest and help us out. Finally, we arrived. I use my phone to take notes at all of the interviews with the pastors and when we made it to this church, I was at 5% battery. It would have been a problem if my phone died because I wouldn't have had a good way to record the pastor's answers. I found myself trusting that God would not allow my phone to die during the interview. We finished the interview and I had 1% left. Another new way to trust God to provide and another answer to prayer.

Trust, although it is a simple concept, can be hard. It can be hard to relinquish control of a situation, an outcome, a person, or a plan, but if you are handing over control to the almighty, all-knowing, creating, sustaining, and providing God, then there is nothing to fear. That is one of the most important lessons I am learning.

Proverbs 3:5 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

We can praise the Lord for answered prayers, continued health and safety, and exceeded goals. However, I ask that you also pray with me for continued provision, motivation, and more opportunities to learn and grow by stepping out of my comfort zone.

Woah, We're Halfway There.

First of all, if you didn't sing the title of this blog in your head, I'm a little disappointed. Go ahead and look up Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. 

Anyways, it's true, I am at the halfway point of my summer in Haiti. Technically, I'm at the halfway point of my time here by myself before Berean's youth team arrives, but I'm not going to ruin a good title. Time has gone by so quick! Some of the days have been slow, but the weeks have been fast. I have been to a total of 48 churches so far, which is just two short of how many I planned on visiting altogether! At this rate, I'm visiting 12 churches a week. I am aiming to make it to another 30-40, although Jephthe believes I can make it to all 121 churches. I hope that he is right! The visits have been going so great. Personally, they are very humbling for me and I have been so appreciative of the opportunity that God has blessed me with to do His work. At each visit, I take pictures of the church and the leader. Then, I have a list of questions that I ask them, with the help of Elisee, a friend of mine who I hired to translate for me. At the end, I ask them for three ways that I can be praying for their church and three ways that I can be praying for them personally. It has been a joy for me to see how encouraged the leader is after the interview because they know that they aren’t forgotten. Almost every leader has asked that I pray for the financial situation of the church, but also for their family as well, because they don’t make enough to support themselves through the ministry. Many of the leaders also do not have their own housing and ask that I pray about that as well. Jephthe’s ministry here in Haiti is such an encouragement to me because I see the impact that these churches are having for the kingdom. The churches have anywhere from 50 to 400 people in attendance each Sunday, with the largest church having 10,000-15,000 people!

This past week, I was extremely humbled and heartbroken at the same time. As I was finishing up an interview with a pastor, I asked him how I could be praying for him. Pastor Metys spoke up and said that we need to see his house because he lives in a hen house. So we got up and went out the back of the church to his "house." My jaw dropped. He literally lived in a 12ft x 6ft shack that had chicken wire covered with cardboard for walls. There were two mattresses, separated by sheets hanging from the tin roof. I couldn't believe it. Oh, did I mention that he has a pregnant wife and six children that also live there with them? I was at a loss for words. I was afraid to start praying because I knew that I would get emotional. But I prayed. I'm thankful that God is omniscient and knows what we need before we say it, or even think it. I'm thankful that he knows the desires of my heart and that he knows how I felt for that family. I'm thankful that even though I didn't know how to pray for them, he still knew what they needed. That was a tough visit, but I am thankful for it because of how God met me in that moment and I knew that even if I didn't have all the words to say in my prayer, he would still know all that was on my heart and mind. What a sweet, sweet thing it is to feel the presence of God in such a moment.

I'm thankful that God is allowing me to experience moments like that. Moments that break my heart for his people. Moments that make me realize how fortunate I am. Moments that make me see what true dependence on God looks like. Moments that allow me to see just how important this work is. God has blessed me to be a blessing to others. In that moment, I was able to show that family that God sees them, he hears our prayers, they aren't forgotten, they aren't abandon. I could encourage them with truth. God is not finished with them yet! Better days are coming! I pray that they know that. That they are encouraged. I pray that God continues to break my heart for what breaks his. I pray that he continues to show me how good he is, how faithful he is.

Today was encouraging because Kristin, the other American here who has been working at the orphanage in La Coste for Jephthe, and I were able to bring all the boys from La Coste to the clinic to be seen by the doctor. He was super sweet with them all and really did a good job. I was reminded of how much God cares for the orphans and the widows today. I got to hold a sweet little boy in my arms for hours as he slept. I picked him up because he had been crying and almost immediately his cry turned to a little whimper and then stopped completely. He just wanted to be seen, to be held, to be cared for. Sometimes, I feel like that's how I can be with God. I just want him to hold me, to reassure me that he is bigger than all of my problems, all of my failures, all of my doubts. I want to be reminded that I'm not alone in this, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, cares for me, who hears me and is in control. Children are such a great reminder of how gentle God can be, how compassionate he can be, and how comforting he can be. Matthew 19:14, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" What a perfect thing to be reminded of in a country full of young children running around. 

This trip has been such a learning experience for me. I cannot say thank you enough to all of you who have been praying for me, who supported me financially, and who have sent me words of encouragement. I am so thankful the time that I am getting to spend here. God has been deepening my relationship with him, growing my relationship with my friends here, and revealing to me so many new things. I am excited for the second half! 

So far, I have felt very healthy and have not had many problems at all. Praise God! You can also thank God with me that I have not had any problems or accidents on the moto! But, if you would, please continue to pray for strength, energy, health, and safety for this second half of the trip. As the number of churches I visit continues to grow, so does the distance to travel to get to them. Pray that God would continue to bless me with stability and control on the moto. Finally, I ask that you would continue to pray for my spiritual growth, that God would continue to show me new things and teach me new lessons through His Word and through my experiences here. I think that it is only appropriate to end with this, I'm livin' on a prayer! 

Moto Mania.

Today we went further out to a few churches. I drove myself and Elisee rode with Pastor Matey. After the first church, we picked up a guy to take us to the second church, so Elisee rode with me. We drove through a little market and I didn’t hit anyone or anything (I did have a close encounter with a pig though). Overall, I would say I did pretty well navigating the rocky terrain and going up and down hills. After the second church, we drove a little ways and then stopped. Matey said that we need to leave my moto at this random lady’s house because it was dangerous going down the mountain. So we went three deep down a steep and curvy mountain. Let me tell you, the view was gorgeous! If we weren’t riding three deep, I definitely would have tried to take some pictures. Green, rolling hills with a river flowing through them. Li bel anpil (it’s very beautiful)! We got down to the church and were greeted by the sweetest children and family. Upon entering the church, it was evident that they lived inside of it. They quite literally lived in the Lord’s house. It also appeared that they lived off the land. As we were waiting for the pastor to arrive, they were picking mangos, shelling peanuts, and had some kind of bean drying in the sun. While we were sitting out in the shade waiting, the sweet boy climbed into what I was told was an orange tree, but it looked more like a like tree to me, that is if limes even grow on trees. Anyways, next thing you know, fruit is falling from the tree and the boy is just up there singing and swinging around on the limbs and branches. I’m going to take a wild guess and say he has done this before. After our interview with the pastor, we headed back up the mountain and stopped to get my moto. I paid the lady a little bit of money and we were back on our way. We made it back to Jephthe’s with no problems or accidents. 

I have enjoyed these past couple days so much and really feel like the work I am doing will serve a great purpose. As I meet all these pastors and see their churches, I can’t help but think how great their reward will be in heaven. I also can’t help but think about how blessed we are back home. Our churches have walls, a roof, seating, electric, musical instruments, microphones, A/C and heating, etc... I wonder how the answers would compare if I asked the same questions back home, like, “What’s your vision for this church?” and, “What are your needs as a church?” 

I’m thankful that God has blessed us abundantly. I’m grateful that he has. My prayer is quickly becoming that I do not take it all for granted. That I am a good steward of the blessings bestowed upon me. I pray that God continues to soften my heart for these people and their churches. That I continue to learn what dedication and faithfulness to Christ looks like. That I continue to learn that the church is more than just a building. Would I go to church if I didn’t have a seat, a comfortable climate, and a good worship band? Would I faithfully devote my life to Christ if I had next to nothing? 

These are some of the thoughts and questions that are rattling around in my head as I am rattling around on a moto. I hope that my thoughts and my questions can help you examine your own life and relationship with Christ. 

I ask that you continue to pray for health and safety as I spend my time down here. Also, I ask that you pray for Elisee and the rest of the orphans in Cap as they mourn the loss of their brother, Wilguens. For those who don’t know, Wilguens succumbed to his battle with cancer on Sunday night. He was only 16 years old. He was one of the boys our youth group supported for quite some time. We will be going to Cap this weekend to attend his wake and funeral. Finally, I ask that you would pray that God would continue to teach me, mold me, challenge me, and help me to grow and mature in my faith and relationship with him. 

Today Was A Good Day.

Today was a good day. It started off with devotions, digging into Paul’s letter to the church in Colossae. Then came breakfast. I put some apple butter and black raspberry jam that I brought from home on my bread and boy was it good. I did a little work out after that and then got showered up. I met up with Jephthe and Wilguens after that. Jephthe and I talked about the plans to put a roof on the medical clinic (good luck to the team that has to do that because the tresses are going to be like 33ft long). It was now time for the moment I had been praying about before I left and since I have been here. It was time to learn how to drive the moto. Wilguens, Abdel and I went to big open soccer field behind Caleb’s restaurant. I would like to say that I was a natural and got it going on my first try... but I would be lying. After about 10 minutes of Wilguens and Abdel patiently telling me, “slowly, slowly,” I finally got the timing of the clutch and the accelerator. After that it really was a breeze. (Sorry, Mom, if I buy a motorcycle after I get home). After a while of me driving around in circles around the field (yes, Mom, I was wearing my helmet), we went into the restaurant for lunch. I got a fruit smoothie and pizza, more taste from home. I also flavored my water today with sweet tea, so I was really feeling like I was back home (beside being the only white person and constantly sweating). Later on we went back to the field to make sure I had not forgotten everything I learned earlier… I didn’t. We came home for dinner and I was so excited because I saw chocolate pudding! I didn’t think today could get any better, but it just did! I grabbed my spoon and took a big bite... and it wasn’t chocolate pudding. It was black beans to go over my rice. (For those wondering how I could confuse the two, keep in mind the power was out so it was already dark and the beans were still covered in their sauce. Honest mistake, really). Aside from that, today was still a good day.

I’m so thankful for all of you who have continuously prayed for me while I am here! If you want to pray for specifics, here are my current requests. 

1. That I don’t wreck the moto. 
2. That I continue to feel healthy. 
3. That I stop being so sweet and the mosquitos stop biting me. 
4. That I can adequately teach English to Wilguens, Daniel, and Wilguens’ friends.