Trust.

Trust. It's a simple thing, right? You either trust someone, or something, or you don't. Seems simple. So what makes it so difficult sometimes?

Here in Haiti, I have to trust a lot! I have to trust people, vehicles, roads, goat paths, bridges, and many other things. Most importantly though, I have to trust God. This is one thing that God has really been teaching me during my time down here, especially this past week. Allow me to walk you through what it has been like.

Wednesday - On Wednesday, Wilguens and I were supposed to go to Hinche on the moto. We had talked the night before and planned to leave at 7:00am Haitian time (meaning more like 7:15 or 7:30). Anyways, 7:00am came and went and around 7:30 Wilguens showed up and told me, "I forgot, I can't go to Hinche. We need to go to Cap." There's no such thing as a quick trip to Cap, either. So we get in the Dodge pickup, which requires trust in and of itself because everyone knows that thing could break down at any moment. (This is the truck that just the week before, the tail end of the drive shaft just fell off as we were turning into the orphanage at La Coste, if that tells you anything). We finally leave and as we are leaving Pignon, we stop at a church and like 15 women all get into the bed of the truck, to which Wilguens says, "I forgot." Alrighty then, on to Cap we go. Thankfully, we made it to Cap without any problems. Once we got there, we dropped the women off at hotel like place (come to find out, they're all getting married and went to try on wedding dresses). Wilguens and I then took a tap-tap into the heart of Cap. Tap-taps require trust. After the tap-tap driver took us as far as he would go into the market, we got out and began to walk. So now, I'm just following this guy that I just met when I came down here through the busy, overcrowded, trash littered streets of Cap-Haitien. After about 20 minutes, we finally get to the bank. Once inside, a security guard took us to the front of the line to exchange money. As the bank teller was handing me my gourds, Wilguens took a $50 gourd bill and rolled it up. Then as we were walking out he handed it to me and told me to give it to the security guard. Nothing like a little bribe for good service. After the bank, I had to buy some supplies for the American team that was here that week. When we had bought what we needed, Wilguens hailed a taxi to take us back to the hotel where the truck was. Another trusting moment, but we made it back. After waiting for a couple hours for all the women to be done, we were finally on our way back to Pignon. Remember how I said that the Dodge could break down at any time? Well, that time was about 45 minutes into the 2ish hour drive. Something went out on the transmission and we were stopped dead in our tracks. We spent an hour or so trying to fix it but to no avail. But wouldn't you know it, God gave me an answer to prayer and another opportunity to trust him. While we were just standing there by the truck, another truck pulled up with a few people inside. Wilguens talked with the man driving and then looked at me and said, "You should probably go, right?" Apparently, this man lived in Pignon and offered to take me the rest of the way. So I put my stuff in the back and hopped in, praying and trusting God that I would make it back to Jephthe's. The man, Val, works for an organization here in Pignon called Haiti Outreach and was very nice. He dropped me off at Jephthe's and I couldn't thank him enough.

Thursday - On Thursday, I went to visit a handful of churches. I have to trust Pastor Metys that he knows where he is going. Again, another man whom I just met when I came here this summer, leading me way out into the country, through winding trails, rivers, mountains, and on this particular day, over bridges. We were on our way back to Pignon and just came down a steep hill when I see this bridge come into site. I just figured we would be going down below it and crossing the river at a low point, but I was wrong. This bridge was probably five feet wide, 150-200 feet long, made with wooden planks and had wire on the sides for rails. It was like something out of an Indiana Jones movie! Needless to say I made Pastor Metys go first. After he made, it was my turn. "Jesus take the wheel, here goes nothing." I slowly eased my moto on to and made my way across. Thankfully, the Lord helped keep me straight and I made it without any problems. Talk about trust, though. Come to find out, Metys had never crossed that before that day and just a couple months ago, someone had fallen off. I'm glad I didn't know either of those things prior to crossing. What an adventure that was. Trusting in the Lord that the bridge would hold and that I wouldn't stray left or right.

Friday - Friday was a relatively chill day, but still, each day here presents the opportunity to trust in the Lord for basic things. For example, it's never for certain that we will have electricity to charge phones, backup batteries, have the fan on at night, etc... Also, although the cooks do very well and the food is always great, there is always that chance that something could not sit well with you and upset your stomach. Each meal is an opportunity to give thanks and to trust God.

Saturday and Sunday - On Saturday morning, Jephthe, a leader from the other group, Kristin, Elisee and I left for Port-au-Prince early in the morning. We knew that Jephthe's car had been having problems and that was one of the reasons why we left earlier, so that we could take his car to the dealership to be worked on. Thankfully, we made it without any problems. Jephthe dropped Elisee, Kristin and I off at the hotel and he and the other leader went to have his car looked at. A couple hours later, he was back. He said that they didn't have time to work on his car, so now he was working on a few things and needed to prepare a message for Sunday morning. Half-jokingly, I told him I would do the message for him. Lesson learned, because he jumped on the idea and now I was to preach tomorrow. Lord, I'm trusting you. I've never prepared a message, let alone preached a message. The rest of the afternoon I spent praying and preparing a message to share the next day. I enjoyed some time in the pool and just relaxing after I had finished preparing. Sunday morning came quick and we got to church around 8:45. Then, after about an hour of worship, it was time for me to preach. Lord, I need you. I'm trusting you, that you will speak through me and they will hear your words, not my own. In my own opinion, I would say that it went fairly well for my first time! I'm thankful that God is able to use my story and the things that he has been teaching me to help encourage others. Stepping outside of my comfort zone, trusting God to provide and sustain, has never felt better. I'm so thankful for the opportunities that he is giving me here in Haiti.

Monday - It was back to work on Monday. I visited seven more churches with Pastor Metys and Elisee. This time, we went all the way to Thomonde, which is about 30 minutes or so past Hinche. I was a little nervous about driving through Hinche because it can be very busy and hectic in the city, especially with all of the roundabouts. I kept praying and trusting God that it would not be busy while we drove through and He answered. We got through the city with no problems and very unusually light traffic. Later on, after visiting six churches, we began our hour and a half long search for the final church. Pastor Metys had never been to this church before and it was obvious. We were driving through the mountains, along goat paths, over hills and through valleys, stopping to ask everyone we saw if they could point us in the right direction. I was trusting Pastor Metys and he was trusting these strangers to be honest and help us out. Finally, we arrived. I use my phone to take notes at all of the interviews with the pastors and when we made it to this church, I was at 5% battery. It would have been a problem if my phone died because I wouldn't have had a good way to record the pastor's answers. I found myself trusting that God would not allow my phone to die during the interview. We finished the interview and I had 1% left. Another new way to trust God to provide and another answer to prayer.

Trust, although it is a simple concept, can be hard. It can be hard to relinquish control of a situation, an outcome, a person, or a plan, but if you are handing over control to the almighty, all-knowing, creating, sustaining, and providing God, then there is nothing to fear. That is one of the most important lessons I am learning.

Proverbs 3:5 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

We can praise the Lord for answered prayers, continued health and safety, and exceeded goals. However, I ask that you also pray with me for continued provision, motivation, and more opportunities to learn and grow by stepping out of my comfort zone.

Woah, We're Halfway There.

First of all, if you didn't sing the title of this blog in your head, I'm a little disappointed. Go ahead and look up Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. 

Anyways, it's true, I am at the halfway point of my summer in Haiti. Technically, I'm at the halfway point of my time here by myself before Berean's youth team arrives, but I'm not going to ruin a good title. Time has gone by so quick! Some of the days have been slow, but the weeks have been fast. I have been to a total of 48 churches so far, which is just two short of how many I planned on visiting altogether! At this rate, I'm visiting 12 churches a week. I am aiming to make it to another 30-40, although Jephthe believes I can make it to all 121 churches. I hope that he is right! The visits have been going so great. Personally, they are very humbling for me and I have been so appreciative of the opportunity that God has blessed me with to do His work. At each visit, I take pictures of the church and the leader. Then, I have a list of questions that I ask them, with the help of Elisee, a friend of mine who I hired to translate for me. At the end, I ask them for three ways that I can be praying for their church and three ways that I can be praying for them personally. It has been a joy for me to see how encouraged the leader is after the interview because they know that they aren’t forgotten. Almost every leader has asked that I pray for the financial situation of the church, but also for their family as well, because they don’t make enough to support themselves through the ministry. Many of the leaders also do not have their own housing and ask that I pray about that as well. Jephthe’s ministry here in Haiti is such an encouragement to me because I see the impact that these churches are having for the kingdom. The churches have anywhere from 50 to 400 people in attendance each Sunday, with the largest church having 10,000-15,000 people!

This past week, I was extremely humbled and heartbroken at the same time. As I was finishing up an interview with a pastor, I asked him how I could be praying for him. Pastor Metys spoke up and said that we need to see his house because he lives in a hen house. So we got up and went out the back of the church to his "house." My jaw dropped. He literally lived in a 12ft x 6ft shack that had chicken wire covered with cardboard for walls. There were two mattresses, separated by sheets hanging from the tin roof. I couldn't believe it. Oh, did I mention that he has a pregnant wife and six children that also live there with them? I was at a loss for words. I was afraid to start praying because I knew that I would get emotional. But I prayed. I'm thankful that God is omniscient and knows what we need before we say it, or even think it. I'm thankful that he knows the desires of my heart and that he knows how I felt for that family. I'm thankful that even though I didn't know how to pray for them, he still knew what they needed. That was a tough visit, but I am thankful for it because of how God met me in that moment and I knew that even if I didn't have all the words to say in my prayer, he would still know all that was on my heart and mind. What a sweet, sweet thing it is to feel the presence of God in such a moment.

I'm thankful that God is allowing me to experience moments like that. Moments that break my heart for his people. Moments that make me realize how fortunate I am. Moments that make me see what true dependence on God looks like. Moments that allow me to see just how important this work is. God has blessed me to be a blessing to others. In that moment, I was able to show that family that God sees them, he hears our prayers, they aren't forgotten, they aren't abandon. I could encourage them with truth. God is not finished with them yet! Better days are coming! I pray that they know that. That they are encouraged. I pray that God continues to break my heart for what breaks his. I pray that he continues to show me how good he is, how faithful he is.

Today was encouraging because Kristin, the other American here who has been working at the orphanage in La Coste for Jephthe, and I were able to bring all the boys from La Coste to the clinic to be seen by the doctor. He was super sweet with them all and really did a good job. I was reminded of how much God cares for the orphans and the widows today. I got to hold a sweet little boy in my arms for hours as he slept. I picked him up because he had been crying and almost immediately his cry turned to a little whimper and then stopped completely. He just wanted to be seen, to be held, to be cared for. Sometimes, I feel like that's how I can be with God. I just want him to hold me, to reassure me that he is bigger than all of my problems, all of my failures, all of my doubts. I want to be reminded that I'm not alone in this, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, cares for me, who hears me and is in control. Children are such a great reminder of how gentle God can be, how compassionate he can be, and how comforting he can be. Matthew 19:14, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" What a perfect thing to be reminded of in a country full of young children running around. 

This trip has been such a learning experience for me. I cannot say thank you enough to all of you who have been praying for me, who supported me financially, and who have sent me words of encouragement. I am so thankful the time that I am getting to spend here. God has been deepening my relationship with him, growing my relationship with my friends here, and revealing to me so many new things. I am excited for the second half! 

So far, I have felt very healthy and have not had many problems at all. Praise God! You can also thank God with me that I have not had any problems or accidents on the moto! But, if you would, please continue to pray for strength, energy, health, and safety for this second half of the trip. As the number of churches I visit continues to grow, so does the distance to travel to get to them. Pray that God would continue to bless me with stability and control on the moto. Finally, I ask that you would continue to pray for my spiritual growth, that God would continue to show me new things and teach me new lessons through His Word and through my experiences here. I think that it is only appropriate to end with this, I'm livin' on a prayer! 

Beef Jerky and Coke.

Right now is a moment I genuinely enjoy. I’m sitting on the porch with Daniel and Malachi eating dinner, beef jerky and coke. We just finished English lessons and it sounds like the rain has finally stopped. 

For those that know Daniel, you know how kind and sweet he is. Malachi is his best friend. I just met him for the first time this year. He is a year older than Daniel but they go to school together. He is every bit as kind and as sweet as Daniel. The first time I met him I knew that I would like him. He wasn’t like most of the other kids. He was more reserved and very respectful. 

When I came down here I told Daniel that I wanted to teach him English and help him improve his skills. I told him that he could have a friend join him and Malachi is who he chose. I have enjoyed helping them and am looking forward to hopefully being able to enhance both of their English speaking abilities. They are both so eager to learn.  

As we sit here in the dark, eating our beef jerky and drinking our cokes, I am finding myself content. Content, but not complacent. I am content with where I am and what I am doing. Some people asked why wouldn’t I work this summer and save up money for school and other things. Some people thought it was crazy to come here for almost 10 weeks because I would miss so many events and happenings back home. But despite what people think, I know that I am making a difference, even if it is just in these two boy’s lives. Some people told me that moments like this are what this trip would be all about. Some people told me that even if I just impacted one life, it would all be worth it. I choose to believe those people. It is so worth it. I’m finding myself content with just having the One who created this moment. The One who created Daniel and Malachi. The One who created you and me. 

However, I firmly believe that not only will my time and work with these boys be beneficial, but that the work I am doing here with Jephthe is going to be beneficial as well. I believe that God will bless this work and use it to encourage the pastors and their churches. I believe that it will benefit Jephthe’s ministry and will also bring glory to the Kingdom. My prayer is that it not only encourages the churches, but that it also encourages churches back home to sponsor a church here. I pray that God provides abundantly more than these churches could ever ask and imagine. It is humbling to hear the pastors tell their stories and to hear how they desire to care for their flocks, but just don’t have the means to do so. 

Today, one of the pastors told me that he lives so poorly, but that he is happy. He’s happy because he lives in a new community and has the chance  to share the gospel with the people there. He’s happy because God called him out of a voodoo practicing family, to become a child in the family of the One True King. He’s happy because God called him to go to seminary, which he graduated from two years ago, and to start a church in this particular community. He’s happy, not because he has a lot, but because he knows the One who has everything. 

I pray that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can develop that type of happiness. I want to be genuinely happy, not because I live in America and have lots of things, but because I know the One who has everything. That’s the kind of happiness I want. I think tonight was a step in that direction. I was happy not because I had a lot, just beef jerky and coke, but I knew that I was with the One who has everything. And as long as I have Him, I’m content. 

A couple ways that you could be praying are for continued health and safety, that the pastors and churches are encouraged, and that God continues to teach me to be content with only Him. Also, as you know if you read my last post, we had Wilguens’ funeral this weekend. Please pray for Elisee, who was very close to him. Pray that God would comfort and draw near to him and the rest of those who were close to Wilguens. 

Update: As I was writing this post last night, Daniel took my phone and started going through my pictures again. He said there were pictures of Malachi. As it turns out, Malachi has been around numerous times on several trips here, but I just didn’t recognize him. He has grown so much even from the last picture he was in, in July 2017. I’m so thankful that this trip I have gotten to know him personally. 

Comfortable in the Uncomfortable.

          Have you ever been driving somewhere, like home from work or to school, and when you get there you realize that you were just completely zoned out while driving? You don't remember how you got there because you were just on auto-pilot, essentially. You make the drive everyday and it becomes second nature. This can be a scary place to be.
          After more than ten trips to Haiti, I found myself in a similar situation. Haiti had become a trip that I could auto-pilot through. It was a little different, every trip is unique and brings its own challenges, but for the most part, these trips had become like second nature.
          For the first four or five years, each trip was new and exciting, they were novel. But after that, they all began to run together. Over the years, Haiti trips just became something that I did, it was like second nature.
          In my experiences, there are comforts that I have here in America: a bed, a nice house, a car, running water, clothes, air conditioning, etc... and over the years, going to Haiti also became comfortable. While staying at Jephthe's, we have running water, a decent bed, a roof over our heads, and good food. Yes it is hot and dirty, it is hard work and there are challenges, but for Haiti, it was still comfortable.
          This past trip to Haiti a few of us were in the truck with Jephthe on our way to Thomassique, which is where we would be spending our week working. On the way there, Jephthe said something along these lines, "The living situation this time is going to be much different," to which Scott and I looked at each other and said, "what do you mean?" Jephthe responded with a single sentence, "I am so thankful you still come." Scott and I both just glanced at each other and thought, "what have we gotten ourselves into?" However, a quote from our book, Radical by David Platt, convicted me when I read it later that week. It said,

“…somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.” ― David Platt

          This past trip was so good because it took me back outside of my Haiti comfort zone. I had been concerned about my own comforts in this third-world country instead of the lives of the people that we were there to serve, the ones who live there everyday of their lives. I did not want to abandon myself or my comforts. I wanted to go to Haiti and help these people who have nothing, all the while having comforts that I could enjoy. Thankfully, this trip was different. We slept on the roof of a house that did not have running water. We weren't at Jephthe's house with the normal comforts that we have there. This trip woke me up from my auto-pilot mode that I had been in. Another quote from our book put it into perspective as well.

“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”           ― David Platt

          I fell into the trap of the American dream that life is all about being comfortable and I carried this with me to Haiti. I was there to serve, but I still wanted to be comfortable while down there. I am so thankful that we took this trip when we did because it brought me out of the state of thinking that I was in. This summer, although I will be staying at Jephthe's for the majority of the time, I'm sure there will be some nights that I spend in other places that are much less comfortable than the house in Thomassique. I am not there to be comfortable. I am not there to serve myself. I am there to serve the people of Haiti. I am there to glorify God despite the uncomfortable situations I may be in.

          Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that you are encouraged and inspired to pray about what God is doing in your life. If you wish to join me on my journey this summer, you can add me on Facebook, or continue to follow my blog. As always, I ask for your prayers during this time as I prepare, but also this summer while I am there. If you would like to support me financially, you can click here. Thank you again, God bless you.

My Inability.

Last week I shared about how all people, no matter their background, are commanded by Jesus Christ to go and make disciples. I also hinted a little bit at my own doubts in preparing for this ten week trip to Haiti. This week, I want to be even more vulnerable with you and share more about those doubts and insecurities that I have been experiencing. However, despite these doubts and insecurities, I know that I am serving a God who is bigger, stronger, and able to take my fears and turn them into opportunities to bring glory to himself.

“God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him. In the process he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, he makes much of his own name.”

― David Platt

How refreshing it is to be reminded that our God is able to turn all of our inabilities into opportunities. Last week, I shared briefly about how l find myself doubting my abilities and adequacy to share the Gospel and make disciples because I am not smart enough, educated enough or old enough. At the root of all those doubts, though, is that I don’t think I’m good enough. I’m a sinner. I make mistakes. I mess up. I make bad choices. I have a not-so-spotless past. I get nervous in front of people. I’m awkward. I’m not the best speaker. I don’t have a Bible degree or an education from a Christian school. So why, God, would you choose to send me to Haiti on this trip? Why not someone else who is better qualified? “God actually delights in exalting our inability.” ...but. “He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him.” ...oh. Okay, God.

This quote was a breath of fresh air. I am not able but that’s okay. God is able. In fact, He is more than able. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us…” He can do far more than I can even imagine. I heard a quote other day that went like this, “God doesn’t call the qualified, God qualifies the called.” I may not be qualified, but I am called. I may not be able, but God is. The amount of peace and joy that I find in knowing that God is able, despite how I feel, despite if I think I am qualified or not. The more that I rest in the fact that I can rely on God to meet my needs and accomplish his work through me, the more excited I become. I get excited thinking about all the ways that God can be glorified this summer, all the ways that God can do things through me that I never thought possible, all the ways that God can use someone like me to bring himself glory. Praise God because he is able!

This is exciting as well because I can boast in nothing other than Jesus Christ and his divine power. A passage that sums up how I feel is found in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31. It says, “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”

As if that passage was not enough, I leave you with this final verse that reassures me of the ability of God to turn my inability into opportunity, 1 Thessalonians 5:24, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” Rest assured brothers and sisters, if you are feeling called by God to go do something for Him, but you feel like you aren’t capable, just remember that He, the Lord, is faithful to provide and see you through.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling. I appreciate all of your prayers and kind words as I prepare for my trip this summer. If you feel led to give financially, you can click here and it will take you to my GoFundMe page. Thank you and may God bless you!

For Qu.

11-14-2017

His name was Quvonta, Qu for short. I didn’t know him all that well yet, but he was still a teammate. I remember having him in my orientation group at school, showing him around campus, helping schedule his classes, talking with him and his brother about basketball. We practiced together for a few weeks before he went back home to Cleveland for a little while. We chatted in a group message with the rest of the team. He always lifted us up and encouraged us. He wanted to make us better. He was determined to make us better. He was supposed to be back to practice on Monday, but Monday never came for him…

We got the news Sunday morning from Coach in a text that read, “I postponed the game today. There was an incident where Q was shot and killed last night. I don’t know anymore details.” My heart sank. My stomach dropped. How do you take this kind of news? A friend, a teammate, a twin brother, a best friend, a son, dead. Forever gone from this earth. But God, why?! He was only 18! He had so much life left to live! How can you do this? Why would you do this? I don’t understand. Honestly, I probably never will.

As the news spread, I see pictures of Qu on social media. I read stories about the joy he brought to others, the laughs and smiles that were shared with him. I see videos of the silly dance moves that he unashamedly showed off. My heart continues to break. What do you say to your two teammates, one who is his twin brother and the other his best friend? There aren’t words gentle enough to make the tears stop. There aren’t words encouraging enough to lift their spirits. So you say what you can and hope that they know you mean it.

One of the most afflicted men in the Bible, Job, has a lot to teach us about loss. God allowed Satan to take away his family, his livestock, his money and his health. If anyone had a reason to curse God it was him. Upon hearing the news that all of his livestock, his servants, and his children had been killed, the Bible says that Job “got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. The he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.’” What an atypical response to tragedy. I’ll be the first to admit that more often than not, my initial instinct is not to worship God when tragedy strikes. I want to question God, I want to know why, and I want to know the purpose, the plan. But Job reminds me that the Lord is in control. He gives and he takes away, sometimes unexpectedly and sooner than we would wish. While Job was sitting among the ashes in his mourning, God allowed Satan to take Job’s health, but he had to spare his life. Job was covered in sores from head to toe and the Bible tells us that Job’s wife told him to curse God and die but Job refused. He asked her the question, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” What a great question to ask and to gain perspective. God is God in the good and the bad. He is present in our highest times and our lowest times. He is worthy of our worship on the top of the mountain and in the valley below. As for the questioning of God’s plan, we are reminded in Isaiah 55 that God’s ways and thoughts are not like our own. “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” 

In situations like this one, we want to know why, but we have to have faith, even in the darkest, lowest valley that we find ourselves in. Faith that God is in control. Faith that God does not make mistakes. Faith that God is just. Faith that God will never leave us nor forsake us. Right now, we mourn with those who mourn and pray for peace, comfort, and healing in the lives of those who knew Qu.

Rest easy, Qu. This season is for you. We love you and will miss you. 

Made New.

2/7/2017

II Corinthians 6:17-21

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

As I sit here in a crowded Panera, watching the rain drizzle down outside, I become blatantly aware of my inner being. I feel as if the weather today largely represents my emotions the past couple weeks. Down. Dark. Damp. Dreary. Discomforting. This is not the Wyatt I know. This is not the Wyatt I want to be. But, nonetheless, this is the Wyatt I have been. It is no one’s fault but my own. I have allowed myself to wallow in my thoughts. I have limited myself to only negative thinking. I have tried to solve everyone else’s problems but my own. I have lost focused. I have become complacent. I have believed the lies that I have to stay here, that I have done this to myself, that I don’t deserve anything better because of the mistakes I've made. To be completely honest, I’ve ignored God’s leading. I've ignored his promises. I’ve ignored His Word. I’ve ignored what I know to be true. I’ve held onto my desires, rather than seeking His. Again, to no one’s fault but my own. Looking back at the past few weeks, one theme has been evident through it all. Forgiveness. God’s forgiveness. Our forgiveness. My forgiveness. Now I can forgive other people pretty well, that is usually not a problem for me. I’m not usually one to hold grudges or anything like that (I’m not saying I'm perfect in this area, I can still improve but in comparison. Let me go on). Where I struggle, though, is accepting and believing I am forgiven and am able to forgive myself. I’m my own biggest critic. I frustrate myself to no end. I try to do things on my own, in my own strength. Surprise, that doesn’t work. I can’t do this life on my own or in my own strength. Period. I need God. I need the Holy Spirit. In my devotions today, I was in II Corinthians. I reread a passage that we had discussed in depth at Bible the past couple weeks. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” I am a new creation! I’m not my past mistakes. I’m not the person I used to be. I’m none of that. I am a new creation in Christ! Oh, how glorious! “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them.” To God be the glory. Silly, Wyatt, you can’t do any of this on your own, it is all from God! He reconciled, restored friendly relations between (thanks, Google), us to him through sending his son to die on the cross for us! He did that! He desired us that much to do that! He is not holding my sin against me! He sees his son in me and that is it! I do not have to dwell in those feelings like I have been. I can move on. I can learn from my mistakes and become better because of them. According to II Peter chapter 1, I have been given everything I need to live a godly life. I have been given these things from, guess who, God! Not myself. Also in II Peter, it says, “… he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” Did you read that? Through these great and precious promises that he has given us, we can participate in divine nature because we have escaped the corruption in the world. We have this ability and it is one that I have been neglecting. I’ve allowed my desires to keep me trapped in the corruption. Each day is a battle between flesh and spirit. Each day is a choice to love God or love my flesh. Each day, with help from the Holy Spirit, I can choose to live and believe the great and precious promises of God, not the lies of this world. It is my challenge to me and to you, if you struggle with these same things, to live in the light that we are no longer slaves to sin, to live in the light that we are new creations in Christ. “The old has gone, the new is here!”

“You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.”

-          “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North 

Endure It.

1/14/2017
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – I Corinthians 10:12-13

This is a passage of scripture that I have heard hundreds of times. It’s been told to me and I've given it to others as well. In fact, I have even given a short little message to our youth group about it before. However, as I was reading it today, a couple things struck me. (Side note: I love how you can read certain verses and passages a hundred times over and think you have it down and then the Holy Spirit just enlightens you and opens your eyes to something on the hundred and first time reading it. God is so cool.) First, I was reminded to never become so secure in where I am standing that I think I have it all together. We must always, “Be alert and of sober mind,” because “the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (I Peter 5:8). Often times, in my life, the times when I think I am doing really well, are when the devil hits me the hardest and I’m not ready for it. So don’t get complacent. Secondly, I love that Paul encourages us by saying that we aren’t alone. We aren’t the only one facing this temptation or that temptation. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.” This was really encouraging to me because most of the time, I feel like I’m the only one who struggles with certain temptations. But I was reminded and reassured that is not the case. As Christians, we do not have to go through pain and struggles and temptation alone. We are called to lift one another up in prayer to be there for one another, helping and strengthening our brothers and sisters. The beauty of being a part of the body of Christ is that we never have to go through life alone. Thirdly and quickly, I was reminded and encouraged that no matter what I’m up against, no matter how strong the temptation, with Christ, I can bear it. I can get through it. He will not give me more than I can handle. How great of a thought that all those times we face something that we think there is no way we can do it or get through it, God says we can. Now, this is when things got interesting for me as I read this passage. “But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” How many times have you heard someone share that God will give you a way out, an escape from your temptation? I know whenever I have heard someone telling me this or when I've told it to other people, we always stop there, “He will also provide a way out.” Period. We don’t finish the verse, “so that you can endure it” (emphasis added). I read this today and it stopped me in my tracks. Endure it? Wait a minute; I thought he gave us a way out? Doesn’t that mean we don’t have to deal with it? Can’t we just pass over it or skip through it? Why does it say endure it? Google (don’t you love Google) defines endure like this: “1. suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently. 2. remain in existence; last.” What are you saying, Wyatt? Good question. I think a lot of times we read this verse and when we are struggling or facing temptation, we or someone else might pray this verse over you or share it with you to encourage you that God will give you a way out. But that’s it, we don’t finish the verse. So we build up a false sense of what should happen or what God will do. We just assume that we will look up and see a red “Exit” sign and that’s it, an easy way out. We get upset with God if that’s not the case. “Where’s my help, God? Why did I fall into this temptation? Where was my way out?” Read the rest of the verse! “So that you can endure it.” His way out may not be completely avoiding the temptation. It may be a friend who enters into the situation with you to help you through it. It may be a book or a quote or a verse that speaks to you and encourages you through it. It may be a change of perspective about the situation. It could be any number of things, friends, but I’m convinced that it is not always going to be an easy-button exit. When are we ever told that the Christian life would be easy? So why should we expect an easy way out of our temptations? Now, I’m not denying God’s miracle working ability or doubting his providential ways. Maybe in your life, He has given you an easy way out, praise God for that, but let’s not think that that will always be the case. Let’s be encouraged and evaluate our struggles and circumstances and see if maybe God has given us a way out, “so that we can endure whatever temptations or struggles we are facing. 

Personal Notes.

9/1/2016

Reading: Acts 17 & 18

Acts 18: 9 & 10 – “One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: ‘Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.”

Don’t be discouraged, don’t stay silent, God is always working and we are in HIS hands. To live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21).

Do I really live my life this way? Do I really see dying as gain? Do I live my life as if it is Christ’s? Do I do all things to and for HIS glory? Do I openly share the Gospel? Is evangelism my top priority? Do I actively try to bring the Good News into every conversation and relationship? Do I devote myself to prayer? Do I spend time every day in the Word? Do I put my time with Jesus before everything else? Do I even make time for Him? What am I pursuing? How do my actions, my thoughts, my life reflect my relationship with Christ? What keeps me from following Him wholeheartedly? What am I scared of? Why do I sit silent? Why do I not share this life-changing and life-saving news? Am I afraid of failure? Is it failure if I they don’t accept it or reject it? Or is it failure if I don’t even share it? Am I afraid of what it may cost? Am I afraid what they may think of me? Am I afraid of what God may call me into? Am I afraid of what the Holy Spirit may convict me of? Am I too in love with my sins to give them up? Am I too in love with being comfortable and content with my life as it is, rather than letting it go to experience all that God has for me?

These are the questions that need answered. These are the questions that I really need to be honest with myself about. These are the questions, that no matter how much they cut to my core, no matter how uncomfortable they make me feel, no matter how much they convict me and challenge me to change, to give up my life for the sake of Christ, I need to answer.

Lord, Jesus, I need you now. I need your strength. I need your patience. I need your guidance. I need your boldness. I need your humility. I need your forgiveness. I need your conviction. I need your discipline. I need your persistence and perseverance. Lord, I need you now more than ever. Please come and help me be honest with myself. Help me to be real with myself. What is this life about? It’s not about me. It’s about you. It’s all about You. Come, Lord Jesus and wreck my life with the truth of Your Word and bring me out of this self-satisfying life, into a life that is dedicated and devoted to growing, learning, and sharing about You, the one and only thing that really matters.

Pure Joy.

7/1/2016

When you find yourself between a rock and a hard place, what is your initial response? When you’re face to face with struggle, trials and tribulations, pain, hurt, doubt, how do you respond?

What do you do? Do you say things like, “I wish I could just fast forward through this?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” Maybe you ask God why he is doing this or allowing this to happen.

All too often are initial responses to struggles and to testing trails is to question them, to get mad or frustrated with them. But why is it that it’s not until after we go through it, that we look back and say, “Oh, now I see, God. Now I get why I had to go through that.” Why can’t we respond that way during it? Did God tell us that we won’t face trials? Did He say it would be an easy life? I think there is a reason that we are told to “rejoice always” and “pray continually,” multiple times in the Bible. Life is hard. Life sucks sometimes. Life can knock you down, it can throw you a curveball when you’re thinking fastball, and it can throw you one up in, knocking you back off the plate. Just when you think you have it figured out, something goes wrong, something doesn’t go the way you thought it would. The question is, how do you respond?

I’m guilty of letting it get the best of me all too often. I get angry, I get frustrated, I get depressed. But now, I’m challenging myself, and you, to choose joy. James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Consider it what?! Pure joy? God you can’t be for real? There’s no way. That’s too hard. You don’t understand what happened.

Yes, consider it pure joy, child, because I am perfecting you. I am doing more inside of you than you could ever ask or imagine. I am refining you through the flame.

That’s my challenge to you and to me. Consider it pure joy.

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

- II Corinthians 4:6-12

Found Guilty.

5/21/2016

 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me.” - John 15:18-21

As I read these verses, a few things come to mind. First, the question formulates in my mind, “How does the world treat me? Does it love me or hate me?” Second, thinking of the body as a whole, “Why are we so surprised when the world does not agree with our viewpoints or our opinions? Why do we get so mad when they reject us, ridicule us and harass us for standing up for our faith?” Finally, the third question that comes to my mind is this, “Am I, personally, being persecuted, in any way, because of my faith? Am I living my life in a way that reflects Christ, if I am not being persecuted?” I think all three of these thoughts/questions can speak volumes to our walks as Christians. How does the world think about you? Do people hate the way you value your beliefs? How you live your life according to what you believe? Or does the world love you? Does it love the way you comprise your values just to fit in? Does it love the way you’re willing to put a shade over the light you’ve been given? When the world hates us or rejects us, we should not be discouraged, because we are doing something right in the eyes of the Lord. When it comes to hot topics in today’s society, we are often harassed, ridiculed, and joked at for what we stand for. Should this cause us to waiver in our stance? Not in the slightest. We shouldn’t be surprised at these responses; we have been called to a higher standard, one that the people of the world do not understand because they do not know the Father. We should not look upon them with contempt when they ridicule us, but love them anyway, pray for them daily, and treat them as a friend, because they will know we are Christians by our love (John 13:35). This persecution that we face for what we believe in should not come as a surprise. What should be a surprise to you, though, is if you are not being persecuted. If we are not of this world our lives should reflect that. Our choices should reflect that. Our values should reflect that. If we reflect what we believe in our everyday lives, we will face persecution. It may not be extreme, but we will face it. Period. We are not called to fit in, but to stand out, to be the salt and light of this dying and desperate world (Matthew 5:13-16). I will leave you with this one question, “If you are standing on trial for your faith in Christ, would the judge have enough evidence to convict you?”

“For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” –Philippians 3:18-21

Judge Not.

5/12/2016

In the book of John, in one of the last public messages that Jesus’ gives to the people, he says this, “‘If anyone hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge that person. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world. There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words; the very words I have spoken will condemn them at the last day.’” Now, let’s keep in mind that Jesus is fully God, but fully human as well, meaning that while on earth, he faced the temptations of the flesh as well, just like you and me, but  he did not sin, he did not judge these people. How easy is it for us, as Christians, to see the actions of someone and instinctively judge that person? We are so quick to judge others from what we hear, see or even just assume about someone. In today’s society, there are so many lifestyle choices that I do not agree with, nor support. But these words have really challenged me to examine myself and how I think about and treat those who live a lifestyle of sin. As Christians, we are to strive to be Christ-like; treating others as Christ would, walking in step with the Spirit. If we are truly trying to do this, it should change the way we look at other people. If Jesus, while here on earth and battling the flesh just as much as you and me, did not judge these people, then why do we? Why are we so quick to condemn them and judge them? I know that I am guilty of this as well, but if we really want to be like Christ and be a light to this dark world, then we should really take these words to heart, “…I do not judge that person.” Jesus did not judge people while here on earth. That was not his mission, and if it was not his mission, then it surely cannot be ours. We are to be children of the light, bringing truth, hope and love to the world, not judgmental attitudes. I know that we are all human, and because of that, we sin. But I want to challenge you, as reading these words of Jesus have challenged me, to not be so quick to judge others. Instead, let’s really try to follow Jesus’ example and treat those people with love and respect, revealing to them the truth of the gospel and the message of salvation by the way we speak to them, treat them, and love them. Our mission is not to judge the world, but to be children of the light, sharing the message of salvation that is for ALL people.

Be Glorified.

4/29/2016

As I was doing my devotions this morning, I was reading in John 9 and was super encouraged and thought I would share with you all…

“As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.’” – John 9:1-3

These verses really stuck out to me for a few reasons. In life, we often hear the words and question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” or the opposite, “Why do good things happen to bad people?” In my life, especially recently, these questions have been a constant theme throughout recent events. I tend to get frustrated and unfortunately, begin to question God about why he allows certain things to happen. Unfortunately, I allow myself to feel entitled to only good things happening to me because I am following God. I think that because I am doing my best to walk the path that God has for me, he should reward me for that. Honestly, I could not be more wrong in this thinking. God allows certain things to happen so that HE can be glorified. In the good, in the bad, in the uncertain, He can be glorified. Without struggles, hardships, pain, loss, tragedy, uncertainty, etc… why would we follow Jesus? We follow Jesus out of love and devotion, trust and hope. If we truly believe Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,” then we should not question the struggles and difficult times. We should not question why bad things happen to good people and vice versa. We should not feel entitled to only the good outcomes, only the good circumstances, only the good things in life because we follow Christ. Sometimes, God allows certain things to happen so that He can be glorified. That’s it. Whatever we go through, good or bad, the only question we should have is, “How can I glorify God through this?” because, just like in these verses, the only reason the man was born blind was “so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

I pray that this is an encouragement to you as well. We serve a great God that is in complete control of every situation! Praise Him!