It's Reality.

This week I did something that I don't normally do, I replied to a random comment that I saw on Facebook. The comment was on an article published by Fox News, "U.S. Embassy in Haiti warns Americans to 'shelter in place' as violent protests continue." The comment had this to say, "Dont send your kids to places like this! They can do missionary work right here in their own country." I read that comment and immediately a rage of emotion over took me. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I took a moment to relax and think about it. After reading some of the other comments, I gathered that this person seemed to claim to be a Christian. Interesting, but who am I to judge? Anyways, I began to articulate a response. Here is what I said,

I’m in Haiti right now. The Bible tells us, “‘Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’”- ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭28:19-20‬
This is exactly where I am to be right now. Yes, children can do missions work in their own country, and I think that they should! But it is our duty to go. To go to the people in our own country and to go to the people in other countries. As Christians, we aren’t called to life of safety and security, but to a life of obedience and disciple-making. If we aren’t supposed to come to places like Haiti, then who is going to do it? Did Jesus stay in one country? Did Jesus live a life of safety? Did Jesus promise us that we would never face persecution and hardships? No. But He did promise us that he will always be with us. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He will go before us. And ultimately, His will will be done. My worst fear, if I have children of my own, is that I could hinder them from pursing God’s will for their lives by wanting to control their safety. I’m thankful that my parents have been faithful to pray for me and for my safety, but that they have relinquished that desire to control my safety, and give it over to God.

I just couldn't believe that someone who claims to be a Christian would say that we shouldn't travel to these types of countries because they are unsafe. We are never called to safety. Should we be wise and discerning in when and where we choose to go? Absolutely, but we should not just base our decision on whether or not we will be safe wherever we go. If that was the case, I'm not sure there would be anywhere we could go, even staying in our own city or neighborhood could even be dangerous. Ultimately, we aren't in control. Your house could be broken into, you could be hit by a car, someone could bring a gun into your school or church or another gun free zone, you could have a heart attack at work. In my opinion, we live in a fallen world which means that there is no safe place because sin runs ramped. If we, as Christians, are scared to go, who will? Does our love for nonbelievers outweigh our own fear? Our do we love ourselves and our safety more than we love them?

The current situation in Haiti is scary, but it has also brought me so much perspective. This is reality for the people here. Unlike me, they can't just get on a plane when something like this happens and escape it. They have to live it, each and every day it goes on. Each day they have to live with a corrupt government that only looks out for their own pockets. Each day they have to live with the possibility of something happening that disrupts their daily life. Perhaps the worst part about it all, no one knows when it will end. When will the rioting stop? The protests? The roadblocks? The looting? The demonstrations? No one knows. One can only assume. One can only pray and plead with God that it stops. That something changes. This is the world they live in. It is heartbreaking to see a country that I love so much burn itself to the ground. I realize that I can't change it. I can't solve all the problems of this country. I can't change the government. I can't change the reality that they live in.

But that doesn't stop me from coming. The fact that I may not always be safe doesn't stop me. The lack of comforts doesn't stop me. Even though I can't change any of those things mentioned above, I still come. Why? Because even though I can't change the whole country, I can change the life of one or two people. I can bring encouragement to a pastor that is struggling. I can bring hope to a child that feels forgotten. I can bring the good news of Jesus Christ to someone that hasn't heard it before. I choose to believe that my God can work in and through me to change the life of the people that I come into contact with here. I often times am reminded of the starfish story while I am here. There was a boy walking along a beach full of washed up starfish. He was walking along throwing them back into the water and an older man stopped and said, "You can't save them all, kid." The kid looked down, picked one up, threw it back into the ocean and said, "I just saved that one." I see all the bad things in this country and I know that I can't change it all. I can't help every single child, every single pastor and every single person. But I can help some. I can do my part that God has called me to. I can be faithful to the work that I have been given, allowing God to present me the opportunities to help those that I am able to. I realize that it is only God who can change this country and that I can't do it by myself. But with God's help, I can help some.

It is also important to note that what is going on in Port-au-Prince is not a reflection of the whole country. It is not a reflection of every Haitian. As with any group of people, there are some bad apples, but those bad apples don't define the whole bunch. In my time here while the protests and riots have been going on, I have never once felt like I was in physical danger. I knew that the Haitians that I was with would give their lives to keep us safe if it came down to it. Fortunately, that hasn't been the case. After arriving back in Pignon, we have not experienced anything like what was going on in Port-au-Prince and Cap-Haitien, thankfully.

I ask that you would continue to pray with me for the country of Haiti. Pray for the government, the people, the missionaries and other foreigners who are here, and for the situation in general, that God would somehow bring glory to Himself through it. You can also pray that the situation is cleared up by Monday because Miranda is supposed to travel here through Port-au-Prince then. Finally, be in prayer that the team from Berean is also able to still make the trip here as well; they are due to arrive on the 20th.

As always, we can praise the Lord. We can praise Him for his protection and provision. We can praise Him for the good times and during the bad times. We can praise them that we made it back to Pignon. We can praise Him because he is sovereign and always in control.

Trust.

Trust. It's a simple thing, right? You either trust someone, or something, or you don't. Seems simple. So what makes it so difficult sometimes?

Here in Haiti, I have to trust a lot! I have to trust people, vehicles, roads, goat paths, bridges, and many other things. Most importantly though, I have to trust God. This is one thing that God has really been teaching me during my time down here, especially this past week. Allow me to walk you through what it has been like.

Wednesday - On Wednesday, Wilguens and I were supposed to go to Hinche on the moto. We had talked the night before and planned to leave at 7:00am Haitian time (meaning more like 7:15 or 7:30). Anyways, 7:00am came and went and around 7:30 Wilguens showed up and told me, "I forgot, I can't go to Hinche. We need to go to Cap." There's no such thing as a quick trip to Cap, either. So we get in the Dodge pickup, which requires trust in and of itself because everyone knows that thing could break down at any moment. (This is the truck that just the week before, the tail end of the drive shaft just fell off as we were turning into the orphanage at La Coste, if that tells you anything). We finally leave and as we are leaving Pignon, we stop at a church and like 15 women all get into the bed of the truck, to which Wilguens says, "I forgot." Alrighty then, on to Cap we go. Thankfully, we made it to Cap without any problems. Once we got there, we dropped the women off at hotel like place (come to find out, they're all getting married and went to try on wedding dresses). Wilguens and I then took a tap-tap into the heart of Cap. Tap-taps require trust. After the tap-tap driver took us as far as he would go into the market, we got out and began to walk. So now, I'm just following this guy that I just met when I came down here through the busy, overcrowded, trash littered streets of Cap-Haitien. After about 20 minutes, we finally get to the bank. Once inside, a security guard took us to the front of the line to exchange money. As the bank teller was handing me my gourds, Wilguens took a $50 gourd bill and rolled it up. Then as we were walking out he handed it to me and told me to give it to the security guard. Nothing like a little bribe for good service. After the bank, I had to buy some supplies for the American team that was here that week. When we had bought what we needed, Wilguens hailed a taxi to take us back to the hotel where the truck was. Another trusting moment, but we made it back. After waiting for a couple hours for all the women to be done, we were finally on our way back to Pignon. Remember how I said that the Dodge could break down at any time? Well, that time was about 45 minutes into the 2ish hour drive. Something went out on the transmission and we were stopped dead in our tracks. We spent an hour or so trying to fix it but to no avail. But wouldn't you know it, God gave me an answer to prayer and another opportunity to trust him. While we were just standing there by the truck, another truck pulled up with a few people inside. Wilguens talked with the man driving and then looked at me and said, "You should probably go, right?" Apparently, this man lived in Pignon and offered to take me the rest of the way. So I put my stuff in the back and hopped in, praying and trusting God that I would make it back to Jephthe's. The man, Val, works for an organization here in Pignon called Haiti Outreach and was very nice. He dropped me off at Jephthe's and I couldn't thank him enough.

Thursday - On Thursday, I went to visit a handful of churches. I have to trust Pastor Metys that he knows where he is going. Again, another man whom I just met when I came here this summer, leading me way out into the country, through winding trails, rivers, mountains, and on this particular day, over bridges. We were on our way back to Pignon and just came down a steep hill when I see this bridge come into site. I just figured we would be going down below it and crossing the river at a low point, but I was wrong. This bridge was probably five feet wide, 150-200 feet long, made with wooden planks and had wire on the sides for rails. It was like something out of an Indiana Jones movie! Needless to say I made Pastor Metys go first. After he made, it was my turn. "Jesus take the wheel, here goes nothing." I slowly eased my moto on to and made my way across. Thankfully, the Lord helped keep me straight and I made it without any problems. Talk about trust, though. Come to find out, Metys had never crossed that before that day and just a couple months ago, someone had fallen off. I'm glad I didn't know either of those things prior to crossing. What an adventure that was. Trusting in the Lord that the bridge would hold and that I wouldn't stray left or right.

Friday - Friday was a relatively chill day, but still, each day here presents the opportunity to trust in the Lord for basic things. For example, it's never for certain that we will have electricity to charge phones, backup batteries, have the fan on at night, etc... Also, although the cooks do very well and the food is always great, there is always that chance that something could not sit well with you and upset your stomach. Each meal is an opportunity to give thanks and to trust God.

Saturday and Sunday - On Saturday morning, Jephthe, a leader from the other group, Kristin, Elisee and I left for Port-au-Prince early in the morning. We knew that Jephthe's car had been having problems and that was one of the reasons why we left earlier, so that we could take his car to the dealership to be worked on. Thankfully, we made it without any problems. Jephthe dropped Elisee, Kristin and I off at the hotel and he and the other leader went to have his car looked at. A couple hours later, he was back. He said that they didn't have time to work on his car, so now he was working on a few things and needed to prepare a message for Sunday morning. Half-jokingly, I told him I would do the message for him. Lesson learned, because he jumped on the idea and now I was to preach tomorrow. Lord, I'm trusting you. I've never prepared a message, let alone preached a message. The rest of the afternoon I spent praying and preparing a message to share the next day. I enjoyed some time in the pool and just relaxing after I had finished preparing. Sunday morning came quick and we got to church around 8:45. Then, after about an hour of worship, it was time for me to preach. Lord, I need you. I'm trusting you, that you will speak through me and they will hear your words, not my own. In my own opinion, I would say that it went fairly well for my first time! I'm thankful that God is able to use my story and the things that he has been teaching me to help encourage others. Stepping outside of my comfort zone, trusting God to provide and sustain, has never felt better. I'm so thankful for the opportunities that he is giving me here in Haiti.

Monday - It was back to work on Monday. I visited seven more churches with Pastor Metys and Elisee. This time, we went all the way to Thomonde, which is about 30 minutes or so past Hinche. I was a little nervous about driving through Hinche because it can be very busy and hectic in the city, especially with all of the roundabouts. I kept praying and trusting God that it would not be busy while we drove through and He answered. We got through the city with no problems and very unusually light traffic. Later on, after visiting six churches, we began our hour and a half long search for the final church. Pastor Metys had never been to this church before and it was obvious. We were driving through the mountains, along goat paths, over hills and through valleys, stopping to ask everyone we saw if they could point us in the right direction. I was trusting Pastor Metys and he was trusting these strangers to be honest and help us out. Finally, we arrived. I use my phone to take notes at all of the interviews with the pastors and when we made it to this church, I was at 5% battery. It would have been a problem if my phone died because I wouldn't have had a good way to record the pastor's answers. I found myself trusting that God would not allow my phone to die during the interview. We finished the interview and I had 1% left. Another new way to trust God to provide and another answer to prayer.

Trust, although it is a simple concept, can be hard. It can be hard to relinquish control of a situation, an outcome, a person, or a plan, but if you are handing over control to the almighty, all-knowing, creating, sustaining, and providing God, then there is nothing to fear. That is one of the most important lessons I am learning.

Proverbs 3:5 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

We can praise the Lord for answered prayers, continued health and safety, and exceeded goals. However, I ask that you also pray with me for continued provision, motivation, and more opportunities to learn and grow by stepping out of my comfort zone.

Woah, We're Halfway There.

First of all, if you didn't sing the title of this blog in your head, I'm a little disappointed. Go ahead and look up Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. 

Anyways, it's true, I am at the halfway point of my summer in Haiti. Technically, I'm at the halfway point of my time here by myself before Berean's youth team arrives, but I'm not going to ruin a good title. Time has gone by so quick! Some of the days have been slow, but the weeks have been fast. I have been to a total of 48 churches so far, which is just two short of how many I planned on visiting altogether! At this rate, I'm visiting 12 churches a week. I am aiming to make it to another 30-40, although Jephthe believes I can make it to all 121 churches. I hope that he is right! The visits have been going so great. Personally, they are very humbling for me and I have been so appreciative of the opportunity that God has blessed me with to do His work. At each visit, I take pictures of the church and the leader. Then, I have a list of questions that I ask them, with the help of Elisee, a friend of mine who I hired to translate for me. At the end, I ask them for three ways that I can be praying for their church and three ways that I can be praying for them personally. It has been a joy for me to see how encouraged the leader is after the interview because they know that they aren’t forgotten. Almost every leader has asked that I pray for the financial situation of the church, but also for their family as well, because they don’t make enough to support themselves through the ministry. Many of the leaders also do not have their own housing and ask that I pray about that as well. Jephthe’s ministry here in Haiti is such an encouragement to me because I see the impact that these churches are having for the kingdom. The churches have anywhere from 50 to 400 people in attendance each Sunday, with the largest church having 10,000-15,000 people!

This past week, I was extremely humbled and heartbroken at the same time. As I was finishing up an interview with a pastor, I asked him how I could be praying for him. Pastor Metys spoke up and said that we need to see his house because he lives in a hen house. So we got up and went out the back of the church to his "house." My jaw dropped. He literally lived in a 12ft x 6ft shack that had chicken wire covered with cardboard for walls. There were two mattresses, separated by sheets hanging from the tin roof. I couldn't believe it. Oh, did I mention that he has a pregnant wife and six children that also live there with them? I was at a loss for words. I was afraid to start praying because I knew that I would get emotional. But I prayed. I'm thankful that God is omniscient and knows what we need before we say it, or even think it. I'm thankful that he knows the desires of my heart and that he knows how I felt for that family. I'm thankful that even though I didn't know how to pray for them, he still knew what they needed. That was a tough visit, but I am thankful for it because of how God met me in that moment and I knew that even if I didn't have all the words to say in my prayer, he would still know all that was on my heart and mind. What a sweet, sweet thing it is to feel the presence of God in such a moment.

I'm thankful that God is allowing me to experience moments like that. Moments that break my heart for his people. Moments that make me realize how fortunate I am. Moments that make me see what true dependence on God looks like. Moments that allow me to see just how important this work is. God has blessed me to be a blessing to others. In that moment, I was able to show that family that God sees them, he hears our prayers, they aren't forgotten, they aren't abandon. I could encourage them with truth. God is not finished with them yet! Better days are coming! I pray that they know that. That they are encouraged. I pray that God continues to break my heart for what breaks his. I pray that he continues to show me how good he is, how faithful he is.

Today was encouraging because Kristin, the other American here who has been working at the orphanage in La Coste for Jephthe, and I were able to bring all the boys from La Coste to the clinic to be seen by the doctor. He was super sweet with them all and really did a good job. I was reminded of how much God cares for the orphans and the widows today. I got to hold a sweet little boy in my arms for hours as he slept. I picked him up because he had been crying and almost immediately his cry turned to a little whimper and then stopped completely. He just wanted to be seen, to be held, to be cared for. Sometimes, I feel like that's how I can be with God. I just want him to hold me, to reassure me that he is bigger than all of my problems, all of my failures, all of my doubts. I want to be reminded that I'm not alone in this, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, cares for me, who hears me and is in control. Children are such a great reminder of how gentle God can be, how compassionate he can be, and how comforting he can be. Matthew 19:14, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" What a perfect thing to be reminded of in a country full of young children running around. 

This trip has been such a learning experience for me. I cannot say thank you enough to all of you who have been praying for me, who supported me financially, and who have sent me words of encouragement. I am so thankful the time that I am getting to spend here. God has been deepening my relationship with him, growing my relationship with my friends here, and revealing to me so many new things. I am excited for the second half! 

So far, I have felt very healthy and have not had many problems at all. Praise God! You can also thank God with me that I have not had any problems or accidents on the moto! But, if you would, please continue to pray for strength, energy, health, and safety for this second half of the trip. As the number of churches I visit continues to grow, so does the distance to travel to get to them. Pray that God would continue to bless me with stability and control on the moto. Finally, I ask that you would continue to pray for my spiritual growth, that God would continue to show me new things and teach me new lessons through His Word and through my experiences here. I think that it is only appropriate to end with this, I'm livin' on a prayer! 

Beef Jerky and Coke.

Right now is a moment I genuinely enjoy. I’m sitting on the porch with Daniel and Malachi eating dinner, beef jerky and coke. We just finished English lessons and it sounds like the rain has finally stopped. 

For those that know Daniel, you know how kind and sweet he is. Malachi is his best friend. I just met him for the first time this year. He is a year older than Daniel but they go to school together. He is every bit as kind and as sweet as Daniel. The first time I met him I knew that I would like him. He wasn’t like most of the other kids. He was more reserved and very respectful. 

When I came down here I told Daniel that I wanted to teach him English and help him improve his skills. I told him that he could have a friend join him and Malachi is who he chose. I have enjoyed helping them and am looking forward to hopefully being able to enhance both of their English speaking abilities. They are both so eager to learn.  

As we sit here in the dark, eating our beef jerky and drinking our cokes, I am finding myself content. Content, but not complacent. I am content with where I am and what I am doing. Some people asked why wouldn’t I work this summer and save up money for school and other things. Some people thought it was crazy to come here for almost 10 weeks because I would miss so many events and happenings back home. But despite what people think, I know that I am making a difference, even if it is just in these two boy’s lives. Some people told me that moments like this are what this trip would be all about. Some people told me that even if I just impacted one life, it would all be worth it. I choose to believe those people. It is so worth it. I’m finding myself content with just having the One who created this moment. The One who created Daniel and Malachi. The One who created you and me. 

However, I firmly believe that not only will my time and work with these boys be beneficial, but that the work I am doing here with Jephthe is going to be beneficial as well. I believe that God will bless this work and use it to encourage the pastors and their churches. I believe that it will benefit Jephthe’s ministry and will also bring glory to the Kingdom. My prayer is that it not only encourages the churches, but that it also encourages churches back home to sponsor a church here. I pray that God provides abundantly more than these churches could ever ask and imagine. It is humbling to hear the pastors tell their stories and to hear how they desire to care for their flocks, but just don’t have the means to do so. 

Today, one of the pastors told me that he lives so poorly, but that he is happy. He’s happy because he lives in a new community and has the chance  to share the gospel with the people there. He’s happy because God called him out of a voodoo practicing family, to become a child in the family of the One True King. He’s happy because God called him to go to seminary, which he graduated from two years ago, and to start a church in this particular community. He’s happy, not because he has a lot, but because he knows the One who has everything. 

I pray that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can develop that type of happiness. I want to be genuinely happy, not because I live in America and have lots of things, but because I know the One who has everything. That’s the kind of happiness I want. I think tonight was a step in that direction. I was happy not because I had a lot, just beef jerky and coke, but I knew that I was with the One who has everything. And as long as I have Him, I’m content. 

A couple ways that you could be praying are for continued health and safety, that the pastors and churches are encouraged, and that God continues to teach me to be content with only Him. Also, as you know if you read my last post, we had Wilguens’ funeral this weekend. Please pray for Elisee, who was very close to him. Pray that God would comfort and draw near to him and the rest of those who were close to Wilguens. 

Update: As I was writing this post last night, Daniel took my phone and started going through my pictures again. He said there were pictures of Malachi. As it turns out, Malachi has been around numerous times on several trips here, but I just didn’t recognize him. He has grown so much even from the last picture he was in, in July 2017. I’m so thankful that this trip I have gotten to know him personally. 

Moto Mania.

Today we went further out to a few churches. I drove myself and Elisee rode with Pastor Matey. After the first church, we picked up a guy to take us to the second church, so Elisee rode with me. We drove through a little market and I didn’t hit anyone or anything (I did have a close encounter with a pig though). Overall, I would say I did pretty well navigating the rocky terrain and going up and down hills. After the second church, we drove a little ways and then stopped. Matey said that we need to leave my moto at this random lady’s house because it was dangerous going down the mountain. So we went three deep down a steep and curvy mountain. Let me tell you, the view was gorgeous! If we weren’t riding three deep, I definitely would have tried to take some pictures. Green, rolling hills with a river flowing through them. Li bel anpil (it’s very beautiful)! We got down to the church and were greeted by the sweetest children and family. Upon entering the church, it was evident that they lived inside of it. They quite literally lived in the Lord’s house. It also appeared that they lived off the land. As we were waiting for the pastor to arrive, they were picking mangos, shelling peanuts, and had some kind of bean drying in the sun. While we were sitting out in the shade waiting, the sweet boy climbed into what I was told was an orange tree, but it looked more like a like tree to me, that is if limes even grow on trees. Anyways, next thing you know, fruit is falling from the tree and the boy is just up there singing and swinging around on the limbs and branches. I’m going to take a wild guess and say he has done this before. After our interview with the pastor, we headed back up the mountain and stopped to get my moto. I paid the lady a little bit of money and we were back on our way. We made it back to Jephthe’s with no problems or accidents. 

I have enjoyed these past couple days so much and really feel like the work I am doing will serve a great purpose. As I meet all these pastors and see their churches, I can’t help but think how great their reward will be in heaven. I also can’t help but think about how blessed we are back home. Our churches have walls, a roof, seating, electric, musical instruments, microphones, A/C and heating, etc... I wonder how the answers would compare if I asked the same questions back home, like, “What’s your vision for this church?” and, “What are your needs as a church?” 

I’m thankful that God has blessed us abundantly. I’m grateful that he has. My prayer is quickly becoming that I do not take it all for granted. That I am a good steward of the blessings bestowed upon me. I pray that God continues to soften my heart for these people and their churches. That I continue to learn what dedication and faithfulness to Christ looks like. That I continue to learn that the church is more than just a building. Would I go to church if I didn’t have a seat, a comfortable climate, and a good worship band? Would I faithfully devote my life to Christ if I had next to nothing? 

These are some of the thoughts and questions that are rattling around in my head as I am rattling around on a moto. I hope that my thoughts and my questions can help you examine your own life and relationship with Christ. 

I ask that you continue to pray for health and safety as I spend my time down here. Also, I ask that you pray for Elisee and the rest of the orphans in Cap as they mourn the loss of their brother, Wilguens. For those who don’t know, Wilguens succumbed to his battle with cancer on Sunday night. He was only 16 years old. He was one of the boys our youth group supported for quite some time. We will be going to Cap this weekend to attend his wake and funeral. Finally, I ask that you would pray that God would continue to teach me, mold me, challenge me, and help me to grow and mature in my faith and relationship with him. 

Today Was A Good Day.

Today was a good day. It started off with devotions, digging into Paul’s letter to the church in Colossae. Then came breakfast. I put some apple butter and black raspberry jam that I brought from home on my bread and boy was it good. I did a little work out after that and then got showered up. I met up with Jephthe and Wilguens after that. Jephthe and I talked about the plans to put a roof on the medical clinic (good luck to the team that has to do that because the tresses are going to be like 33ft long). It was now time for the moment I had been praying about before I left and since I have been here. It was time to learn how to drive the moto. Wilguens, Abdel and I went to big open soccer field behind Caleb’s restaurant. I would like to say that I was a natural and got it going on my first try... but I would be lying. After about 10 minutes of Wilguens and Abdel patiently telling me, “slowly, slowly,” I finally got the timing of the clutch and the accelerator. After that it really was a breeze. (Sorry, Mom, if I buy a motorcycle after I get home). After a while of me driving around in circles around the field (yes, Mom, I was wearing my helmet), we went into the restaurant for lunch. I got a fruit smoothie and pizza, more taste from home. I also flavored my water today with sweet tea, so I was really feeling like I was back home (beside being the only white person and constantly sweating). Later on we went back to the field to make sure I had not forgotten everything I learned earlier… I didn’t. We came home for dinner and I was so excited because I saw chocolate pudding! I didn’t think today could get any better, but it just did! I grabbed my spoon and took a big bite... and it wasn’t chocolate pudding. It was black beans to go over my rice. (For those wondering how I could confuse the two, keep in mind the power was out so it was already dark and the beans were still covered in their sauce. Honest mistake, really). Aside from that, today was still a good day.

I’m so thankful for all of you who have continuously prayed for me while I am here! If you want to pray for specifics, here are my current requests. 

1. That I don’t wreck the moto. 
2. That I continue to feel healthy. 
3. That I stop being so sweet and the mosquitos stop biting me. 
4. That I can adequately teach English to Wilguens, Daniel, and Wilguens’ friends. 

Time for Takeoff.

This will be a short post, as I am sitting in my gate in Miami about to board my flight to Cap-Haitien. I am feeling good. God has given me a peace that transcends all understanding. I am ready for this. I am sure in these next 10 weeks there will be many challenges, changes, hardships, and unique opportunities. I am just as sure that will also include blessings, rejoicing, happiness, and joy. If I am to be honest, I am a little anxious though. If Jephthe is waiting for me at the airport when I arrive, then a lot of that anxiousness will go away. I am so excited for this amazing opportunity that God has given me to spend these next 10 weeks in Haiti. I will try to keep you all updated weekly, but forgive me if it's not that often.

With each post, I would like to include a list of prayers requests and praises. So here are my first prayer requests: that Jephthe is at the airport to pick me up, all my luggage makes it with me, there are not any problems with Haitian customs, and that I am able to get the SIM cards I need for my phone.

We can praise the Lord together that I was able to bring everything I had packed except for a big bag of pretzels that put me over my weight limit, the extra bags fee was less than expected, and that I haven't had any cancelations or delays.

Well, time to board! Thank you for all of your love and prayers!

Don't Get Distracted.

          This week, I'm going to switch gears a little and not talk about Radical because of something that happened the other day that God used to speak to me. I hope that this story of how God used something so simple to teach me encourages you.

          Sunday evening, Miranda and I went on a hike with Scott and Bethany. We were hiking through the trails along the Clearfork Reservoir (which by the way, if you have never hiked here I highly recommend it, especially while the sun is starting to set). As we were on our way back to the car, the sun was setting over the water, painting a beautiful image of oranges, pinks, purples and golds. It was so beautiful. Sunsets are one of my favorite natural works of art. Anyways, as we were walking, Miranda tripped over a tree root in the path. After she regained her balance, we both laughed, and she said, "I wasn't even paying attention. I was looking at how pretty it is!" I smiled and agreed, but inside I heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me.
          I allowed it to all sink in over the next couple days and spent today unpacking all that was in that moment. I am going to try to break it down part by part.
          Let's begin with the path. I'm sure you can guess that this path represents life, more specifically, our walk in life. There is a vast array of paths that a person can take in life, all leading to one of two places, heaven or hell. For those of us who have confessed with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God has raised him from the dead, then we are saved (Romans 10:9). Our path will lead to heaven. However, there is a false assumption that just because we are saved, our path will not have any obstacles in it. This, my friends, is not true. We can expect that there will be obstacles of all shapes and sizes. This leads us into the next part, the obstacles.
          On our path as Christians, we will face many obstacles. On the path that we were hiking, there were small obstacles like tree roots, rocks, puddles, branches and things like that. There were also larger obstacles such as tree branches and trees that had fallen across the path. In our lives, these obstacles can be habitual sin, arguments, failed tests, changed plans, getting in trouble, losing a job, divorce, sickness and disease, the death of a loved one or anything else that acts as a speed bump or roadblock in our path walk with Christ. If we aren't careful, these obstacles, small and large, can alter the direction of our paths. They can cause us to lose sight of where we are going. In some cases, we can get so caught up with what is in front of us, we aren't willing to take the detour that God has opened up for us. We want to try to demolish the brick wall in front of us with our own hands or cut up the tree that has fallen in our way with a hand saw, rather than listening to God and following his footsteps around the wall or tree. In my experiences, these alternate routes have been the times when I have seen God do incredible things in my life. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." In other words, when come to these obstacles in our walk, trust in God to take you where he wants to, even if it may not make sense. By submitting to his way, what may seem like a winding road to us, is the straight path that God has set out for your life.
          Finally, let's talk about the sunset. Now the sunset didn't do anything wrong in this story. It was just minding its own business, looking all pretty out over the water. However, it still distracted all of us, Miranda just happened to be the one who tripped. The sunset represents distractions in our lives that cause us to lose sight of where we are going. These distractions, like the sunset, are not always bad things. In fact, they can be really good things! For example, a significant other, your friends, your job, a hobby, money, music and other things like that can be good things to have in your life. There is nothing inherently wrong with those things, but when they become our main focus, then there is a problem. What happens when you try to walk in a straight line with your eyes fixed on something to your right? You can't walk straight, can you? You begin to walk towards what you are looking at. The same thing happens in life. When these distractions become our main focus, we begin to walk off our path towards them, rather than keeping on the path towards God. What lies off the path? Even more obstacles to get caught up in. Friends, this is what the devil is trying to get us to do. He wants us to get distracted, whether it is by a good thing or a bad thing and wander off the path. 1 Peter tells us that "the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." The devil wants us to get distracted, to wander off the path into the brush where he is waiting. However, if we fix our eyes and our minds on heavenly things, we will be less likely to become distracted (Colossians 3:2), and better able to stay on the path that God has for us.
          For those of you who do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I pray that God would use these words to draw you to Him. If you want to know more about what I have written or how you can begin a new life with Jesus, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. You are never too far off the path for God to rescue you.
          I want to close by encouraging you to run the race marked out for you. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12:1-2). I think that the verse from the hymn Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing perfectly sums up what I have written.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Comfortable in the Uncomfortable.

          Have you ever been driving somewhere, like home from work or to school, and when you get there you realize that you were just completely zoned out while driving? You don't remember how you got there because you were just on auto-pilot, essentially. You make the drive everyday and it becomes second nature. This can be a scary place to be.
          After more than ten trips to Haiti, I found myself in a similar situation. Haiti had become a trip that I could auto-pilot through. It was a little different, every trip is unique and brings its own challenges, but for the most part, these trips had become like second nature.
          For the first four or five years, each trip was new and exciting, they were novel. But after that, they all began to run together. Over the years, Haiti trips just became something that I did, it was like second nature.
          In my experiences, there are comforts that I have here in America: a bed, a nice house, a car, running water, clothes, air conditioning, etc... and over the years, going to Haiti also became comfortable. While staying at Jephthe's, we have running water, a decent bed, a roof over our heads, and good food. Yes it is hot and dirty, it is hard work and there are challenges, but for Haiti, it was still comfortable.
          This past trip to Haiti a few of us were in the truck with Jephthe on our way to Thomassique, which is where we would be spending our week working. On the way there, Jephthe said something along these lines, "The living situation this time is going to be much different," to which Scott and I looked at each other and said, "what do you mean?" Jephthe responded with a single sentence, "I am so thankful you still come." Scott and I both just glanced at each other and thought, "what have we gotten ourselves into?" However, a quote from our book, Radical by David Platt, convicted me when I read it later that week. It said,

“…somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.” ― David Platt

          This past trip was so good because it took me back outside of my Haiti comfort zone. I had been concerned about my own comforts in this third-world country instead of the lives of the people that we were there to serve, the ones who live there everyday of their lives. I did not want to abandon myself or my comforts. I wanted to go to Haiti and help these people who have nothing, all the while having comforts that I could enjoy. Thankfully, this trip was different. We slept on the roof of a house that did not have running water. We weren't at Jephthe's house with the normal comforts that we have there. This trip woke me up from my auto-pilot mode that I had been in. Another quote from our book put it into perspective as well.

“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”           ― David Platt

          I fell into the trap of the American dream that life is all about being comfortable and I carried this with me to Haiti. I was there to serve, but I still wanted to be comfortable while down there. I am so thankful that we took this trip when we did because it brought me out of the state of thinking that I was in. This summer, although I will be staying at Jephthe's for the majority of the time, I'm sure there will be some nights that I spend in other places that are much less comfortable than the house in Thomassique. I am not there to be comfortable. I am not there to serve myself. I am there to serve the people of Haiti. I am there to glorify God despite the uncomfortable situations I may be in.

          Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that you are encouraged and inspired to pray about what God is doing in your life. If you wish to join me on my journey this summer, you can add me on Facebook, or continue to follow my blog. As always, I ask for your prayers during this time as I prepare, but also this summer while I am there. If you would like to support me financially, you can click here. Thank you again, God bless you.

My Inability.

Last week I shared about how all people, no matter their background, are commanded by Jesus Christ to go and make disciples. I also hinted a little bit at my own doubts in preparing for this ten week trip to Haiti. This week, I want to be even more vulnerable with you and share more about those doubts and insecurities that I have been experiencing. However, despite these doubts and insecurities, I know that I am serving a God who is bigger, stronger, and able to take my fears and turn them into opportunities to bring glory to himself.

“God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him. In the process he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, he makes much of his own name.”

― David Platt

How refreshing it is to be reminded that our God is able to turn all of our inabilities into opportunities. Last week, I shared briefly about how l find myself doubting my abilities and adequacy to share the Gospel and make disciples because I am not smart enough, educated enough or old enough. At the root of all those doubts, though, is that I don’t think I’m good enough. I’m a sinner. I make mistakes. I mess up. I make bad choices. I have a not-so-spotless past. I get nervous in front of people. I’m awkward. I’m not the best speaker. I don’t have a Bible degree or an education from a Christian school. So why, God, would you choose to send me to Haiti on this trip? Why not someone else who is better qualified? “God actually delights in exalting our inability.” ...but. “He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him.” ...oh. Okay, God.

This quote was a breath of fresh air. I am not able but that’s okay. God is able. In fact, He is more than able. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us…” He can do far more than I can even imagine. I heard a quote other day that went like this, “God doesn’t call the qualified, God qualifies the called.” I may not be qualified, but I am called. I may not be able, but God is. The amount of peace and joy that I find in knowing that God is able, despite how I feel, despite if I think I am qualified or not. The more that I rest in the fact that I can rely on God to meet my needs and accomplish his work through me, the more excited I become. I get excited thinking about all the ways that God can be glorified this summer, all the ways that God can do things through me that I never thought possible, all the ways that God can use someone like me to bring himself glory. Praise God because he is able!

This is exciting as well because I can boast in nothing other than Jesus Christ and his divine power. A passage that sums up how I feel is found in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31. It says, “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”

As if that passage was not enough, I leave you with this final verse that reassures me of the ability of God to turn my inability into opportunity, 1 Thessalonians 5:24, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” Rest assured brothers and sisters, if you are feeling called by God to go do something for Him, but you feel like you aren’t capable, just remember that He, the Lord, is faithful to provide and see you through.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling. I appreciate all of your prayers and kind words as I prepare for my trip this summer. If you feel led to give financially, you can click here and it will take you to my GoFundMe page. Thank you and may God bless you!

Be Radical

Each trip to Haiti, we are asked to read a book as part of our morning devotions and then we discuss what we have read during our nightly meetings. This past trip, we read the book Radical, by David Platt. Now, we have read this book on a previous trip, but that was probably five years ago, so it was good to read it again. 

I would like to take some time to share with you some quotes from this book that really resonated with me, especially with my 10-week trip to Haiti on the horizon. My plan is to share with you four or five different quotes over the next few weeks.

“Regardless of what country we live in, what skills we possess, what kind of education we have, or what kind of salary we make, Jesus has commanded each of us to make disciples, and this is the means by which we will impact the world. Indeed, Jesus has invited us to join with him in the surprisingly simple journey of spreading the gospel to all nations by spending our lives for the good of others and the glory of God.”

― David Platt

         This quote really resonated for a couple of reasons. The first half of the first sentence grabbed my attention because it includes everyone, by not breaking down into race or ethnicity. Also, a lot of times I find myself doubting my abilities and my adequacy to share the Gospel and make disciples. I’ll think I’m not smart enough, educated enough, old enough or have enough life experience to do it. But that’s not the case and it is Satan telling me those things. I know this because 1 Timothy 4:12 says, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” Those doubts that I have are just excuses that I cannot let myself believe.

         The second half of that sentence is just as compelling. Jesus has commanded us to go and make disciples. He did not suggest it, he did not mention it in passing, he commanded it. By doing this, we will impact the world. I don’t about you, but I’m always dreaming of what it would be like to change the world, to make it a better place. Here is my chance. Here is your chance. Go and make disciples.

         The last part of the quote is rather simple. Join with Jesus on this journey of making disciples by living not for yourself, but for others, bringing glory to God. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, what you make, or where you live. Once your life has been changed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ and you begin a relationship with him, you are given the power of the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit that rose Jesus from the grave (Romans 8:11). You need not be afraid or timid to share the same Good News that you received.

         This whole quote encouraged me because it was affirmation that what I am planning to do with my time in Haiti is worthwhile. I am laying down my doubt at the cross of Christ and saying “Yes, Lord, I’ll go.” I am obeying Him who created me for good works. I do not need to be afraid.

         Thank you, Lord, for saving me and calling me out into the water. I pray that You would strengthen me and draw me closer to You during this time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I ask that you please keep me in your prayers during this time. If you would like to help financially, click here. Thank you and God bless you.