Woah, We're Halfway There.

First of all, if you didn't sing the title of this blog in your head, I'm a little disappointed. Go ahead and look up Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. 

Anyways, it's true, I am at the halfway point of my summer in Haiti. Technically, I'm at the halfway point of my time here by myself before Berean's youth team arrives, but I'm not going to ruin a good title. Time has gone by so quick! Some of the days have been slow, but the weeks have been fast. I have been to a total of 48 churches so far, which is just two short of how many I planned on visiting altogether! At this rate, I'm visiting 12 churches a week. I am aiming to make it to another 30-40, although Jephthe believes I can make it to all 121 churches. I hope that he is right! The visits have been going so great. Personally, they are very humbling for me and I have been so appreciative of the opportunity that God has blessed me with to do His work. At each visit, I take pictures of the church and the leader. Then, I have a list of questions that I ask them, with the help of Elisee, a friend of mine who I hired to translate for me. At the end, I ask them for three ways that I can be praying for their church and three ways that I can be praying for them personally. It has been a joy for me to see how encouraged the leader is after the interview because they know that they aren’t forgotten. Almost every leader has asked that I pray for the financial situation of the church, but also for their family as well, because they don’t make enough to support themselves through the ministry. Many of the leaders also do not have their own housing and ask that I pray about that as well. Jephthe’s ministry here in Haiti is such an encouragement to me because I see the impact that these churches are having for the kingdom. The churches have anywhere from 50 to 400 people in attendance each Sunday, with the largest church having 10,000-15,000 people!

This past week, I was extremely humbled and heartbroken at the same time. As I was finishing up an interview with a pastor, I asked him how I could be praying for him. Pastor Metys spoke up and said that we need to see his house because he lives in a hen house. So we got up and went out the back of the church to his "house." My jaw dropped. He literally lived in a 12ft x 6ft shack that had chicken wire covered with cardboard for walls. There were two mattresses, separated by sheets hanging from the tin roof. I couldn't believe it. Oh, did I mention that he has a pregnant wife and six children that also live there with them? I was at a loss for words. I was afraid to start praying because I knew that I would get emotional. But I prayed. I'm thankful that God is omniscient and knows what we need before we say it, or even think it. I'm thankful that he knows the desires of my heart and that he knows how I felt for that family. I'm thankful that even though I didn't know how to pray for them, he still knew what they needed. That was a tough visit, but I am thankful for it because of how God met me in that moment and I knew that even if I didn't have all the words to say in my prayer, he would still know all that was on my heart and mind. What a sweet, sweet thing it is to feel the presence of God in such a moment.

I'm thankful that God is allowing me to experience moments like that. Moments that break my heart for his people. Moments that make me realize how fortunate I am. Moments that make me see what true dependence on God looks like. Moments that allow me to see just how important this work is. God has blessed me to be a blessing to others. In that moment, I was able to show that family that God sees them, he hears our prayers, they aren't forgotten, they aren't abandon. I could encourage them with truth. God is not finished with them yet! Better days are coming! I pray that they know that. That they are encouraged. I pray that God continues to break my heart for what breaks his. I pray that he continues to show me how good he is, how faithful he is.

Today was encouraging because Kristin, the other American here who has been working at the orphanage in La Coste for Jephthe, and I were able to bring all the boys from La Coste to the clinic to be seen by the doctor. He was super sweet with them all and really did a good job. I was reminded of how much God cares for the orphans and the widows today. I got to hold a sweet little boy in my arms for hours as he slept. I picked him up because he had been crying and almost immediately his cry turned to a little whimper and then stopped completely. He just wanted to be seen, to be held, to be cared for. Sometimes, I feel like that's how I can be with God. I just want him to hold me, to reassure me that he is bigger than all of my problems, all of my failures, all of my doubts. I want to be reminded that I'm not alone in this, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, cares for me, who hears me and is in control. Children are such a great reminder of how gentle God can be, how compassionate he can be, and how comforting he can be. Matthew 19:14, "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" What a perfect thing to be reminded of in a country full of young children running around. 

This trip has been such a learning experience for me. I cannot say thank you enough to all of you who have been praying for me, who supported me financially, and who have sent me words of encouragement. I am so thankful the time that I am getting to spend here. God has been deepening my relationship with him, growing my relationship with my friends here, and revealing to me so many new things. I am excited for the second half! 

So far, I have felt very healthy and have not had many problems at all. Praise God! You can also thank God with me that I have not had any problems or accidents on the moto! But, if you would, please continue to pray for strength, energy, health, and safety for this second half of the trip. As the number of churches I visit continues to grow, so does the distance to travel to get to them. Pray that God would continue to bless me with stability and control on the moto. Finally, I ask that you would continue to pray for my spiritual growth, that God would continue to show me new things and teach me new lessons through His Word and through my experiences here. I think that it is only appropriate to end with this, I'm livin' on a prayer! 

Beef Jerky and Coke.

Right now is a moment I genuinely enjoy. I’m sitting on the porch with Daniel and Malachi eating dinner, beef jerky and coke. We just finished English lessons and it sounds like the rain has finally stopped. 

For those that know Daniel, you know how kind and sweet he is. Malachi is his best friend. I just met him for the first time this year. He is a year older than Daniel but they go to school together. He is every bit as kind and as sweet as Daniel. The first time I met him I knew that I would like him. He wasn’t like most of the other kids. He was more reserved and very respectful. 

When I came down here I told Daniel that I wanted to teach him English and help him improve his skills. I told him that he could have a friend join him and Malachi is who he chose. I have enjoyed helping them and am looking forward to hopefully being able to enhance both of their English speaking abilities. They are both so eager to learn.  

As we sit here in the dark, eating our beef jerky and drinking our cokes, I am finding myself content. Content, but not complacent. I am content with where I am and what I am doing. Some people asked why wouldn’t I work this summer and save up money for school and other things. Some people thought it was crazy to come here for almost 10 weeks because I would miss so many events and happenings back home. But despite what people think, I know that I am making a difference, even if it is just in these two boy’s lives. Some people told me that moments like this are what this trip would be all about. Some people told me that even if I just impacted one life, it would all be worth it. I choose to believe those people. It is so worth it. I’m finding myself content with just having the One who created this moment. The One who created Daniel and Malachi. The One who created you and me. 

However, I firmly believe that not only will my time and work with these boys be beneficial, but that the work I am doing here with Jephthe is going to be beneficial as well. I believe that God will bless this work and use it to encourage the pastors and their churches. I believe that it will benefit Jephthe’s ministry and will also bring glory to the Kingdom. My prayer is that it not only encourages the churches, but that it also encourages churches back home to sponsor a church here. I pray that God provides abundantly more than these churches could ever ask and imagine. It is humbling to hear the pastors tell their stories and to hear how they desire to care for their flocks, but just don’t have the means to do so. 

Today, one of the pastors told me that he lives so poorly, but that he is happy. He’s happy because he lives in a new community and has the chance  to share the gospel with the people there. He’s happy because God called him out of a voodoo practicing family, to become a child in the family of the One True King. He’s happy because God called him to go to seminary, which he graduated from two years ago, and to start a church in this particular community. He’s happy, not because he has a lot, but because he knows the One who has everything. 

I pray that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can develop that type of happiness. I want to be genuinely happy, not because I live in America and have lots of things, but because I know the One who has everything. That’s the kind of happiness I want. I think tonight was a step in that direction. I was happy not because I had a lot, just beef jerky and coke, but I knew that I was with the One who has everything. And as long as I have Him, I’m content. 

A couple ways that you could be praying are for continued health and safety, that the pastors and churches are encouraged, and that God continues to teach me to be content with only Him. Also, as you know if you read my last post, we had Wilguens’ funeral this weekend. Please pray for Elisee, who was very close to him. Pray that God would comfort and draw near to him and the rest of those who were close to Wilguens. 

Update: As I was writing this post last night, Daniel took my phone and started going through my pictures again. He said there were pictures of Malachi. As it turns out, Malachi has been around numerous times on several trips here, but I just didn’t recognize him. He has grown so much even from the last picture he was in, in July 2017. I’m so thankful that this trip I have gotten to know him personally. 

Made New.

2/7/2017

II Corinthians 6:17-21

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

As I sit here in a crowded Panera, watching the rain drizzle down outside, I become blatantly aware of my inner being. I feel as if the weather today largely represents my emotions the past couple weeks. Down. Dark. Damp. Dreary. Discomforting. This is not the Wyatt I know. This is not the Wyatt I want to be. But, nonetheless, this is the Wyatt I have been. It is no one’s fault but my own. I have allowed myself to wallow in my thoughts. I have limited myself to only negative thinking. I have tried to solve everyone else’s problems but my own. I have lost focused. I have become complacent. I have believed the lies that I have to stay here, that I have done this to myself, that I don’t deserve anything better because of the mistakes I've made. To be completely honest, I’ve ignored God’s leading. I've ignored his promises. I’ve ignored His Word. I’ve ignored what I know to be true. I’ve held onto my desires, rather than seeking His. Again, to no one’s fault but my own. Looking back at the past few weeks, one theme has been evident through it all. Forgiveness. God’s forgiveness. Our forgiveness. My forgiveness. Now I can forgive other people pretty well, that is usually not a problem for me. I’m not usually one to hold grudges or anything like that (I’m not saying I'm perfect in this area, I can still improve but in comparison. Let me go on). Where I struggle, though, is accepting and believing I am forgiven and am able to forgive myself. I’m my own biggest critic. I frustrate myself to no end. I try to do things on my own, in my own strength. Surprise, that doesn’t work. I can’t do this life on my own or in my own strength. Period. I need God. I need the Holy Spirit. In my devotions today, I was in II Corinthians. I reread a passage that we had discussed in depth at Bible the past couple weeks. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” I am a new creation! I’m not my past mistakes. I’m not the person I used to be. I’m none of that. I am a new creation in Christ! Oh, how glorious! “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them.” To God be the glory. Silly, Wyatt, you can’t do any of this on your own, it is all from God! He reconciled, restored friendly relations between (thanks, Google), us to him through sending his son to die on the cross for us! He did that! He desired us that much to do that! He is not holding my sin against me! He sees his son in me and that is it! I do not have to dwell in those feelings like I have been. I can move on. I can learn from my mistakes and become better because of them. According to II Peter chapter 1, I have been given everything I need to live a godly life. I have been given these things from, guess who, God! Not myself. Also in II Peter, it says, “… he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” Did you read that? Through these great and precious promises that he has given us, we can participate in divine nature because we have escaped the corruption in the world. We have this ability and it is one that I have been neglecting. I’ve allowed my desires to keep me trapped in the corruption. Each day is a battle between flesh and spirit. Each day is a choice to love God or love my flesh. Each day, with help from the Holy Spirit, I can choose to live and believe the great and precious promises of God, not the lies of this world. It is my challenge to me and to you, if you struggle with these same things, to live in the light that we are no longer slaves to sin, to live in the light that we are new creations in Christ. “The old has gone, the new is here!”

“You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.”

-          “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North 

Personal Notes.

9/1/2016

Reading: Acts 17 & 18

Acts 18: 9 & 10 – “One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: ‘Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.”

Don’t be discouraged, don’t stay silent, God is always working and we are in HIS hands. To live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21).

Do I really live my life this way? Do I really see dying as gain? Do I live my life as if it is Christ’s? Do I do all things to and for HIS glory? Do I openly share the Gospel? Is evangelism my top priority? Do I actively try to bring the Good News into every conversation and relationship? Do I devote myself to prayer? Do I spend time every day in the Word? Do I put my time with Jesus before everything else? Do I even make time for Him? What am I pursuing? How do my actions, my thoughts, my life reflect my relationship with Christ? What keeps me from following Him wholeheartedly? What am I scared of? Why do I sit silent? Why do I not share this life-changing and life-saving news? Am I afraid of failure? Is it failure if I they don’t accept it or reject it? Or is it failure if I don’t even share it? Am I afraid of what it may cost? Am I afraid what they may think of me? Am I afraid of what God may call me into? Am I afraid of what the Holy Spirit may convict me of? Am I too in love with my sins to give them up? Am I too in love with being comfortable and content with my life as it is, rather than letting it go to experience all that God has for me?

These are the questions that need answered. These are the questions that I really need to be honest with myself about. These are the questions, that no matter how much they cut to my core, no matter how uncomfortable they make me feel, no matter how much they convict me and challenge me to change, to give up my life for the sake of Christ, I need to answer.

Lord, Jesus, I need you now. I need your strength. I need your patience. I need your guidance. I need your boldness. I need your humility. I need your forgiveness. I need your conviction. I need your discipline. I need your persistence and perseverance. Lord, I need you now more than ever. Please come and help me be honest with myself. Help me to be real with myself. What is this life about? It’s not about me. It’s about you. It’s all about You. Come, Lord Jesus and wreck my life with the truth of Your Word and bring me out of this self-satisfying life, into a life that is dedicated and devoted to growing, learning, and sharing about You, the one and only thing that really matters.

Pure Joy.

7/1/2016

When you find yourself between a rock and a hard place, what is your initial response? When you’re face to face with struggle, trials and tribulations, pain, hurt, doubt, how do you respond?

What do you do? Do you say things like, “I wish I could just fast forward through this?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” Maybe you ask God why he is doing this or allowing this to happen.

All too often are initial responses to struggles and to testing trails is to question them, to get mad or frustrated with them. But why is it that it’s not until after we go through it, that we look back and say, “Oh, now I see, God. Now I get why I had to go through that.” Why can’t we respond that way during it? Did God tell us that we won’t face trials? Did He say it would be an easy life? I think there is a reason that we are told to “rejoice always” and “pray continually,” multiple times in the Bible. Life is hard. Life sucks sometimes. Life can knock you down, it can throw you a curveball when you’re thinking fastball, and it can throw you one up in, knocking you back off the plate. Just when you think you have it figured out, something goes wrong, something doesn’t go the way you thought it would. The question is, how do you respond?

I’m guilty of letting it get the best of me all too often. I get angry, I get frustrated, I get depressed. But now, I’m challenging myself, and you, to choose joy. James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Consider it what?! Pure joy? God you can’t be for real? There’s no way. That’s too hard. You don’t understand what happened.

Yes, consider it pure joy, child, because I am perfecting you. I am doing more inside of you than you could ever ask or imagine. I am refining you through the flame.

That’s my challenge to you and to me. Consider it pure joy.

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

- II Corinthians 4:6-12