Beef Jerky and Coke.

Right now is a moment I genuinely enjoy. I’m sitting on the porch with Daniel and Malachi eating dinner, beef jerky and coke. We just finished English lessons and it sounds like the rain has finally stopped. 

For those that know Daniel, you know how kind and sweet he is. Malachi is his best friend. I just met him for the first time this year. He is a year older than Daniel but they go to school together. He is every bit as kind and as sweet as Daniel. The first time I met him I knew that I would like him. He wasn’t like most of the other kids. He was more reserved and very respectful. 

When I came down here I told Daniel that I wanted to teach him English and help him improve his skills. I told him that he could have a friend join him and Malachi is who he chose. I have enjoyed helping them and am looking forward to hopefully being able to enhance both of their English speaking abilities. They are both so eager to learn.  

As we sit here in the dark, eating our beef jerky and drinking our cokes, I am finding myself content. Content, but not complacent. I am content with where I am and what I am doing. Some people asked why wouldn’t I work this summer and save up money for school and other things. Some people thought it was crazy to come here for almost 10 weeks because I would miss so many events and happenings back home. But despite what people think, I know that I am making a difference, even if it is just in these two boy’s lives. Some people told me that moments like this are what this trip would be all about. Some people told me that even if I just impacted one life, it would all be worth it. I choose to believe those people. It is so worth it. I’m finding myself content with just having the One who created this moment. The One who created Daniel and Malachi. The One who created you and me. 

However, I firmly believe that not only will my time and work with these boys be beneficial, but that the work I am doing here with Jephthe is going to be beneficial as well. I believe that God will bless this work and use it to encourage the pastors and their churches. I believe that it will benefit Jephthe’s ministry and will also bring glory to the Kingdom. My prayer is that it not only encourages the churches, but that it also encourages churches back home to sponsor a church here. I pray that God provides abundantly more than these churches could ever ask and imagine. It is humbling to hear the pastors tell their stories and to hear how they desire to care for their flocks, but just don’t have the means to do so. 

Today, one of the pastors told me that he lives so poorly, but that he is happy. He’s happy because he lives in a new community and has the chance  to share the gospel with the people there. He’s happy because God called him out of a voodoo practicing family, to become a child in the family of the One True King. He’s happy because God called him to go to seminary, which he graduated from two years ago, and to start a church in this particular community. He’s happy, not because he has a lot, but because he knows the One who has everything. 

I pray that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can develop that type of happiness. I want to be genuinely happy, not because I live in America and have lots of things, but because I know the One who has everything. That’s the kind of happiness I want. I think tonight was a step in that direction. I was happy not because I had a lot, just beef jerky and coke, but I knew that I was with the One who has everything. And as long as I have Him, I’m content. 

A couple ways that you could be praying are for continued health and safety, that the pastors and churches are encouraged, and that God continues to teach me to be content with only Him. Also, as you know if you read my last post, we had Wilguens’ funeral this weekend. Please pray for Elisee, who was very close to him. Pray that God would comfort and draw near to him and the rest of those who were close to Wilguens. 

Update: As I was writing this post last night, Daniel took my phone and started going through my pictures again. He said there were pictures of Malachi. As it turns out, Malachi has been around numerous times on several trips here, but I just didn’t recognize him. He has grown so much even from the last picture he was in, in July 2017. I’m so thankful that this trip I have gotten to know him personally. 

Moto Mania.

Today we went further out to a few churches. I drove myself and Elisee rode with Pastor Matey. After the first church, we picked up a guy to take us to the second church, so Elisee rode with me. We drove through a little market and I didn’t hit anyone or anything (I did have a close encounter with a pig though). Overall, I would say I did pretty well navigating the rocky terrain and going up and down hills. After the second church, we drove a little ways and then stopped. Matey said that we need to leave my moto at this random lady’s house because it was dangerous going down the mountain. So we went three deep down a steep and curvy mountain. Let me tell you, the view was gorgeous! If we weren’t riding three deep, I definitely would have tried to take some pictures. Green, rolling hills with a river flowing through them. Li bel anpil (it’s very beautiful)! We got down to the church and were greeted by the sweetest children and family. Upon entering the church, it was evident that they lived inside of it. They quite literally lived in the Lord’s house. It also appeared that they lived off the land. As we were waiting for the pastor to arrive, they were picking mangos, shelling peanuts, and had some kind of bean drying in the sun. While we were sitting out in the shade waiting, the sweet boy climbed into what I was told was an orange tree, but it looked more like a like tree to me, that is if limes even grow on trees. Anyways, next thing you know, fruit is falling from the tree and the boy is just up there singing and swinging around on the limbs and branches. I’m going to take a wild guess and say he has done this before. After our interview with the pastor, we headed back up the mountain and stopped to get my moto. I paid the lady a little bit of money and we were back on our way. We made it back to Jephthe’s with no problems or accidents. 

I have enjoyed these past couple days so much and really feel like the work I am doing will serve a great purpose. As I meet all these pastors and see their churches, I can’t help but think how great their reward will be in heaven. I also can’t help but think about how blessed we are back home. Our churches have walls, a roof, seating, electric, musical instruments, microphones, A/C and heating, etc... I wonder how the answers would compare if I asked the same questions back home, like, “What’s your vision for this church?” and, “What are your needs as a church?” 

I’m thankful that God has blessed us abundantly. I’m grateful that he has. My prayer is quickly becoming that I do not take it all for granted. That I am a good steward of the blessings bestowed upon me. I pray that God continues to soften my heart for these people and their churches. That I continue to learn what dedication and faithfulness to Christ looks like. That I continue to learn that the church is more than just a building. Would I go to church if I didn’t have a seat, a comfortable climate, and a good worship band? Would I faithfully devote my life to Christ if I had next to nothing? 

These are some of the thoughts and questions that are rattling around in my head as I am rattling around on a moto. I hope that my thoughts and my questions can help you examine your own life and relationship with Christ. 

I ask that you continue to pray for health and safety as I spend my time down here. Also, I ask that you pray for Elisee and the rest of the orphans in Cap as they mourn the loss of their brother, Wilguens. For those who don’t know, Wilguens succumbed to his battle with cancer on Sunday night. He was only 16 years old. He was one of the boys our youth group supported for quite some time. We will be going to Cap this weekend to attend his wake and funeral. Finally, I ask that you would pray that God would continue to teach me, mold me, challenge me, and help me to grow and mature in my faith and relationship with him. 

Today Was A Good Day.

Today was a good day. It started off with devotions, digging into Paul’s letter to the church in Colossae. Then came breakfast. I put some apple butter and black raspberry jam that I brought from home on my bread and boy was it good. I did a little work out after that and then got showered up. I met up with Jephthe and Wilguens after that. Jephthe and I talked about the plans to put a roof on the medical clinic (good luck to the team that has to do that because the tresses are going to be like 33ft long). It was now time for the moment I had been praying about before I left and since I have been here. It was time to learn how to drive the moto. Wilguens, Abdel and I went to big open soccer field behind Caleb’s restaurant. I would like to say that I was a natural and got it going on my first try... but I would be lying. After about 10 minutes of Wilguens and Abdel patiently telling me, “slowly, slowly,” I finally got the timing of the clutch and the accelerator. After that it really was a breeze. (Sorry, Mom, if I buy a motorcycle after I get home). After a while of me driving around in circles around the field (yes, Mom, I was wearing my helmet), we went into the restaurant for lunch. I got a fruit smoothie and pizza, more taste from home. I also flavored my water today with sweet tea, so I was really feeling like I was back home (beside being the only white person and constantly sweating). Later on we went back to the field to make sure I had not forgotten everything I learned earlier… I didn’t. We came home for dinner and I was so excited because I saw chocolate pudding! I didn’t think today could get any better, but it just did! I grabbed my spoon and took a big bite... and it wasn’t chocolate pudding. It was black beans to go over my rice. (For those wondering how I could confuse the two, keep in mind the power was out so it was already dark and the beans were still covered in their sauce. Honest mistake, really). Aside from that, today was still a good day.

I’m so thankful for all of you who have continuously prayed for me while I am here! If you want to pray for specifics, here are my current requests. 

1. That I don’t wreck the moto. 
2. That I continue to feel healthy. 
3. That I stop being so sweet and the mosquitos stop biting me. 
4. That I can adequately teach English to Wilguens, Daniel, and Wilguens’ friends. 

Time for Takeoff.

This will be a short post, as I am sitting in my gate in Miami about to board my flight to Cap-Haitien. I am feeling good. God has given me a peace that transcends all understanding. I am ready for this. I am sure in these next 10 weeks there will be many challenges, changes, hardships, and unique opportunities. I am just as sure that will also include blessings, rejoicing, happiness, and joy. If I am to be honest, I am a little anxious though. If Jephthe is waiting for me at the airport when I arrive, then a lot of that anxiousness will go away. I am so excited for this amazing opportunity that God has given me to spend these next 10 weeks in Haiti. I will try to keep you all updated weekly, but forgive me if it's not that often.

With each post, I would like to include a list of prayers requests and praises. So here are my first prayer requests: that Jephthe is at the airport to pick me up, all my luggage makes it with me, there are not any problems with Haitian customs, and that I am able to get the SIM cards I need for my phone.

We can praise the Lord together that I was able to bring everything I had packed except for a big bag of pretzels that put me over my weight limit, the extra bags fee was less than expected, and that I haven't had any cancelations or delays.

Well, time to board! Thank you for all of your love and prayers!

Don't Get Distracted.

          This week, I'm going to switch gears a little and not talk about Radical because of something that happened the other day that God used to speak to me. I hope that this story of how God used something so simple to teach me encourages you.

          Sunday evening, Miranda and I went on a hike with Scott and Bethany. We were hiking through the trails along the Clearfork Reservoir (which by the way, if you have never hiked here I highly recommend it, especially while the sun is starting to set). As we were on our way back to the car, the sun was setting over the water, painting a beautiful image of oranges, pinks, purples and golds. It was so beautiful. Sunsets are one of my favorite natural works of art. Anyways, as we were walking, Miranda tripped over a tree root in the path. After she regained her balance, we both laughed, and she said, "I wasn't even paying attention. I was looking at how pretty it is!" I smiled and agreed, but inside I heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me.
          I allowed it to all sink in over the next couple days and spent today unpacking all that was in that moment. I am going to try to break it down part by part.
          Let's begin with the path. I'm sure you can guess that this path represents life, more specifically, our walk in life. There is a vast array of paths that a person can take in life, all leading to one of two places, heaven or hell. For those of us who have confessed with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God has raised him from the dead, then we are saved (Romans 10:9). Our path will lead to heaven. However, there is a false assumption that just because we are saved, our path will not have any obstacles in it. This, my friends, is not true. We can expect that there will be obstacles of all shapes and sizes. This leads us into the next part, the obstacles.
          On our path as Christians, we will face many obstacles. On the path that we were hiking, there were small obstacles like tree roots, rocks, puddles, branches and things like that. There were also larger obstacles such as tree branches and trees that had fallen across the path. In our lives, these obstacles can be habitual sin, arguments, failed tests, changed plans, getting in trouble, losing a job, divorce, sickness and disease, the death of a loved one or anything else that acts as a speed bump or roadblock in our path walk with Christ. If we aren't careful, these obstacles, small and large, can alter the direction of our paths. They can cause us to lose sight of where we are going. In some cases, we can get so caught up with what is in front of us, we aren't willing to take the detour that God has opened up for us. We want to try to demolish the brick wall in front of us with our own hands or cut up the tree that has fallen in our way with a hand saw, rather than listening to God and following his footsteps around the wall or tree. In my experiences, these alternate routes have been the times when I have seen God do incredible things in my life. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." In other words, when come to these obstacles in our walk, trust in God to take you where he wants to, even if it may not make sense. By submitting to his way, what may seem like a winding road to us, is the straight path that God has set out for your life.
          Finally, let's talk about the sunset. Now the sunset didn't do anything wrong in this story. It was just minding its own business, looking all pretty out over the water. However, it still distracted all of us, Miranda just happened to be the one who tripped. The sunset represents distractions in our lives that cause us to lose sight of where we are going. These distractions, like the sunset, are not always bad things. In fact, they can be really good things! For example, a significant other, your friends, your job, a hobby, money, music and other things like that can be good things to have in your life. There is nothing inherently wrong with those things, but when they become our main focus, then there is a problem. What happens when you try to walk in a straight line with your eyes fixed on something to your right? You can't walk straight, can you? You begin to walk towards what you are looking at. The same thing happens in life. When these distractions become our main focus, we begin to walk off our path towards them, rather than keeping on the path towards God. What lies off the path? Even more obstacles to get caught up in. Friends, this is what the devil is trying to get us to do. He wants us to get distracted, whether it is by a good thing or a bad thing and wander off the path. 1 Peter tells us that "the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." The devil wants us to get distracted, to wander off the path into the brush where he is waiting. However, if we fix our eyes and our minds on heavenly things, we will be less likely to become distracted (Colossians 3:2), and better able to stay on the path that God has for us.
          For those of you who do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I pray that God would use these words to draw you to Him. If you want to know more about what I have written or how you can begin a new life with Jesus, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. You are never too far off the path for God to rescue you.
          I want to close by encouraging you to run the race marked out for you. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12:1-2). I think that the verse from the hymn Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing perfectly sums up what I have written.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Comfortable in the Uncomfortable.

          Have you ever been driving somewhere, like home from work or to school, and when you get there you realize that you were just completely zoned out while driving? You don't remember how you got there because you were just on auto-pilot, essentially. You make the drive everyday and it becomes second nature. This can be a scary place to be.
          After more than ten trips to Haiti, I found myself in a similar situation. Haiti had become a trip that I could auto-pilot through. It was a little different, every trip is unique and brings its own challenges, but for the most part, these trips had become like second nature.
          For the first four or five years, each trip was new and exciting, they were novel. But after that, they all began to run together. Over the years, Haiti trips just became something that I did, it was like second nature.
          In my experiences, there are comforts that I have here in America: a bed, a nice house, a car, running water, clothes, air conditioning, etc... and over the years, going to Haiti also became comfortable. While staying at Jephthe's, we have running water, a decent bed, a roof over our heads, and good food. Yes it is hot and dirty, it is hard work and there are challenges, but for Haiti, it was still comfortable.
          This past trip to Haiti a few of us were in the truck with Jephthe on our way to Thomassique, which is where we would be spending our week working. On the way there, Jephthe said something along these lines, "The living situation this time is going to be much different," to which Scott and I looked at each other and said, "what do you mean?" Jephthe responded with a single sentence, "I am so thankful you still come." Scott and I both just glanced at each other and thought, "what have we gotten ourselves into?" However, a quote from our book, Radical by David Platt, convicted me when I read it later that week. It said,

“…somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.” ― David Platt

          This past trip was so good because it took me back outside of my Haiti comfort zone. I had been concerned about my own comforts in this third-world country instead of the lives of the people that we were there to serve, the ones who live there everyday of their lives. I did not want to abandon myself or my comforts. I wanted to go to Haiti and help these people who have nothing, all the while having comforts that I could enjoy. Thankfully, this trip was different. We slept on the roof of a house that did not have running water. We weren't at Jephthe's house with the normal comforts that we have there. This trip woke me up from my auto-pilot mode that I had been in. Another quote from our book put it into perspective as well.

“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”           ― David Platt

          I fell into the trap of the American dream that life is all about being comfortable and I carried this with me to Haiti. I was there to serve, but I still wanted to be comfortable while down there. I am so thankful that we took this trip when we did because it brought me out of the state of thinking that I was in. This summer, although I will be staying at Jephthe's for the majority of the time, I'm sure there will be some nights that I spend in other places that are much less comfortable than the house in Thomassique. I am not there to be comfortable. I am not there to serve myself. I am there to serve the people of Haiti. I am there to glorify God despite the uncomfortable situations I may be in.

          Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that you are encouraged and inspired to pray about what God is doing in your life. If you wish to join me on my journey this summer, you can add me on Facebook, or continue to follow my blog. As always, I ask for your prayers during this time as I prepare, but also this summer while I am there. If you would like to support me financially, you can click here. Thank you again, God bless you.

My Inability.

Last week I shared about how all people, no matter their background, are commanded by Jesus Christ to go and make disciples. I also hinted a little bit at my own doubts in preparing for this ten week trip to Haiti. This week, I want to be even more vulnerable with you and share more about those doubts and insecurities that I have been experiencing. However, despite these doubts and insecurities, I know that I am serving a God who is bigger, stronger, and able to take my fears and turn them into opportunities to bring glory to himself.

“God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him. In the process he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, he makes much of his own name.”

― David Platt

How refreshing it is to be reminded that our God is able to turn all of our inabilities into opportunities. Last week, I shared briefly about how l find myself doubting my abilities and adequacy to share the Gospel and make disciples because I am not smart enough, educated enough or old enough. At the root of all those doubts, though, is that I don’t think I’m good enough. I’m a sinner. I make mistakes. I mess up. I make bad choices. I have a not-so-spotless past. I get nervous in front of people. I’m awkward. I’m not the best speaker. I don’t have a Bible degree or an education from a Christian school. So why, God, would you choose to send me to Haiti on this trip? Why not someone else who is better qualified? “God actually delights in exalting our inability.” ...but. “He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him.” ...oh. Okay, God.

This quote was a breath of fresh air. I am not able but that’s okay. God is able. In fact, He is more than able. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us…” He can do far more than I can even imagine. I heard a quote other day that went like this, “God doesn’t call the qualified, God qualifies the called.” I may not be qualified, but I am called. I may not be able, but God is. The amount of peace and joy that I find in knowing that God is able, despite how I feel, despite if I think I am qualified or not. The more that I rest in the fact that I can rely on God to meet my needs and accomplish his work through me, the more excited I become. I get excited thinking about all the ways that God can be glorified this summer, all the ways that God can do things through me that I never thought possible, all the ways that God can use someone like me to bring himself glory. Praise God because he is able!

This is exciting as well because I can boast in nothing other than Jesus Christ and his divine power. A passage that sums up how I feel is found in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31. It says, “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”

As if that passage was not enough, I leave you with this final verse that reassures me of the ability of God to turn my inability into opportunity, 1 Thessalonians 5:24, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” Rest assured brothers and sisters, if you are feeling called by God to go do something for Him, but you feel like you aren’t capable, just remember that He, the Lord, is faithful to provide and see you through.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling. I appreciate all of your prayers and kind words as I prepare for my trip this summer. If you feel led to give financially, you can click here and it will take you to my GoFundMe page. Thank you and may God bless you!